Flourishing

Last weekend I gave a talk about flourishing.

I think this is an important subject because I happen to believe that my Jesus did not endure what He did on that cross for you or I to limp along in life settling for mere survival. And I say this as someone who did just that for the first thirty years of my life. But I’ve since discovered that life does not have to be with that way. Sure, the crap parcels don’t stop coming but it is possible to continue to grow, heal, learn, laugh, cry, dance, rest and ultimately to stay ALIVE whilst living!

Whilst it has undoubtedly taken much blood, sweat, tears, help and support to move from where I was to where I am, I now know that such a transition is entirely possible.  Hence I want to share this with others as I believe that moving from survival in to flourishing is on offer to all willing to make the investment.

I’ve been reflecting further upon this theme this week especially as various clients have ended their counselling process and discussed how they plan to continue implementing their learning.

The key thing that has clearly emerged is the importance of intentionally investing time and space in looking after ourselves. As it is all parts that make us whole, this means we need to actively apply appropriate care to our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual parts of ourselves. This is a non negotiable if we want to remain as healthy as possible, let alone to flourish.

And it is not just time to notice any part of us that may be struggling in some way and therefore in need of extra attention, but also the time to proactively and consistently engage in nourishing activities as well as times of stillness, to maintain good health.

How easy it is especially with the invisible parts of ourselves to overlook this need to plan for, invest in and apply such thought and action to our health.

We live in a world where we are constantly bombarded with excessive amounts of information, much of which demands a response. Perhaps this is why we often overlook our mental and emotional health until the physical body steps in by manifesting the internal needs via physical symptoms which we cannot ignore.

And those of us of a more introvert persuasion tend to need more times of stillness and silence than our more extrovert peers. I am no exception.  One of my biggest challenges is to find sufficient times of stillness to regain energy, vision, inspiration, clarity and direction for all the many, many things that I love to do.

Yet I know that if I want to continue to flourish, I must regularly check in with myself, be willing to stand back and survey the big picture, reassess and implement changes where necessary then trial, review, refine and repeat. 

Without a commitment to do this, I fail to notice when I have come off track or worse still if I have become stuck going around in a circle.  What I fail to notice, I fail to address.

This reminds me of many years ago during a family outing where my dad, brother and I ventured off along the river. When we discovered a goat along the way, we thought it would be great to stroke it!  It didn’t agree! It promptly lowered its horns and ran at us! We ran the other way but ended up running around in circles with the goat in hot pursuit, looking like something out of an old Benny Hill sketch! Until finally and exhaustedly, I realised that the goat was on a rope and we could just step outside of the circle!

All too often, people come to see me because they haven’t yet realised they can step out of their own circles!

By failing to spend time reviewing where we are or where we are going, we can become stuck on repeat, even when it leaves us desperately miserable. We may then even fall in to the trap of indulging in destructive behaviours in an attempt to dull the pain. Here begins a deeper cycle of prolonging the very actions that are causing the pain by deadening the self to endure it.

This is NOT flourishing.

Planning in time to check in with ourselves can save us much time and trouble in the long run.

Just as looking after or running a house or garden or business or car, takes time, energy and money, so too does running a human.

An investment of time on the self is probably one of the most fruitful things we can do.  At least if we want to keep living, growing and flourishing. And even more so if we want to be part of supporting others to flourish too.

And that’s what I tell folk when they remark upon how often I go away!