Month: January 2020

No holding back

How often do we have the thought to do something for someone and then just as quickly lose the thought without following through with any action?

I have been pondering this over the past week.

It is almost as if we have something in us that pulls us back at the very moment that it could really be quite wonderful to simply go forth with whatever it is.

It feels good to allow that flow of love to come forth from us and out to those around us whether through words or actions.

It could be to take that person out for a meal, or to send someone a card  when it is not their birthday (yes, a real one they can actually hold and feel) or to buy flowers for someone just because you know they like them or to buy that thing that you see in a shop and know someone would love.

Equally, it could be to reach out to the person that you know is struggling or to compliment someone on something that particularly suits them (sincerity is crucial) or to tell someone how much you appreciate them and why.

All too often at the very moment that we could do one of these things, we hesitate and begin to over think our way out of doing it.  Whether because we doubt our instinctive desire to do that thing or we are afraid of how it will look or be perceived.

But fear is not a good enough reason to block the potential flow of love from us and in to others.

For surely, it is better to look like a fool or to be misunderstood than to withhold what you have to give because of what could go wrong.

It feels good to give.

To do what is within our power to do in the midst of our ordinary daily lives is to bring meaning and enjoyment to ourselves and others.  

It is these little exchanges of heartfelt words and actions that bring magic in to what could otherwise be the mundane quality of daily life.

Just because the Christ filled month of December along with all the associated giving is behind us does not mean that we cannot continue with a culture of generosity.

There is joy in generosity.  

For all involved.

And how wonderful to facilitate that flow rather than block it whether through fear, distraction, busyness or anything else.

For to live with a spirit of generosity is to really live!

It’s not about money either.  

Whilst it may at times be that we give to others financially, what most of us want more than that is to know that someone in the world is thinking about us, caring about our experience and willing to reach out to us to show their love and support.  

No one is excluded from the fun of giving.  

We can all get in to the flow of giving what we are able whilst also appreciating what others give to us.

And I cannot end without acknowledging that there is one who totally has this giving thing down and who absolutely loves giving to each and every one of us exactly what we need for each and every day.

I am of course talking about God Almighty.

What a giver He is.

And I believe that out of all that He gives us, the most valuable is His love, which He lavishes upon us that we may receive, enjoy and share this with others.

Let us continue this year in the spirit of giving to one another.

Buy those flowers, write and post that card, call that person, give that compliment.

Do what you are able and have fun along the way.

The Need to Nourish

Last weekend I gave a talk on nourishment.

We all know we need physical nourishment, but how much thought much less application do we give to our mental, emotional and spiritual need for nourishment?

As I reflected upon this matter, I realised a few things.

Firstly, whilst training for the half marathon last year, I had to physically nourish myself to a whole new degree to facilitate my body keeping up with the additional physical demands I was placing upon it.  I had to learn about the different foods required to release sufficient energy to fuel over two hours of running.  Equally I had to learn about the foods required for my body to recover and repair after this increased exercise.  None of which would have been any use to me had I not then applied that knowledge.

We must nourish our body in line with the demands that we place upon it.

But in addition to the demands we place upon ourselves, we must factor in the age and stage of life that we are in. 

For example, post forty my body no longer processes carbohydrates in the way that it used to.  This means that my love of chips, crisps, cakes and the likes, basically fast tracks straight to the creation of a spare tyre.  As I learned to my detriment last October, the sporting of such a tyre can make the wearing of jeans a very uncomfortable experience.  

We need to recognise and understand not just what but how much our body needs to nourish it sufficiently.  A failure to do so will inevitably lead to weight gain or loss which if substantial can lead to various other issues.

Most of us know this stuff.

But do we realise that by the same token we must also nourish our minds and hearts sufficiently for the demands that we place upon them.

For example, in my own life, once I began to practice my work on a full time basis, I quickly discovered that I needed to learn a whole new level of nourishment.  Just as with the half marathon training, I was asking a whole heap more of myself mentally and emotionally than ever before.  As such I needed to increase and improve the way I nourished my heart and mind. 

This required a review of who, what and where leaves me feeling nourished and similarly, who, what and where do not.  I then implemented the necessary changes. 

How easy it is to allow the very things we need most; exercise, time with friends, fun pursuits etc to be squeezed out during the very times that we need them most.

Equally, how easy it can be to become stuck in situations that leave us malnourished.

Similarly, we need to recognise the season that we are in along with the subsequent impact upon our minds and hearts. 

For example, in that first year of grief for the loss of my spiritual mother, I needed more time than ever before to simply be.  My capacity for all was diminished.  Subsequently I spent long periods out walking in the fields or by the sea, I sat in garden centres indulging in serious flower gazing and I had more need of time with those precious people with whom I can bare my soul. 

In doing so, I was supporting my heart and mind with their natural capacity to heal.  As anyone who knows anything about grief will know, grief doesn’t end or finish, it simply changes and there are things we can do to support this process and things that obstruct it.

As there is more in the media about mental and emotional health we are beginning to gain more awareness and understanding of these vital aspects of our health.  Knowledge and understanding alone are not enough.  We must apply this.

Do we recognise that we are also spiritual beings who need to nourish our spirits?

Just as with the physical body, mind and heart, we need to nourish our spirits in line with what we are expecting of ourselves as well as recognising the demands of the season we are in.

We need to know not just what nourishes us spiritually and what does not, but we need to apply this in real terms to our daily lives.

Personally I am immensely grateful to be part of a Church that offers me an all round nourishment fest of a Sunday morning.  How I love to enter in to the presence of God to worship and remind myself that He is still God no matter what is going on in my life in between Sundays.  Plus I get fed a spiritual message by the teacher.  Then after the service, I relish the gift of being made a hot drink.  All of which is done amidst the embrace of my huge Christian family.

Nourishment central.

Of course I am still responsible for spiritually nourishing myself in between services.  It is vital that I recognise that sometimes the hunger I feel is one that only God Almighty can quench.  Thus attempts to satisfy such hunger in any other way, will always fall short.

And, just as we generally need more than one physical meal a week, so too do we need regular nourishment mentally, emotionally and spiritually throughout each day and week.

In summary, we need to know ourselves; body, mind, heart and spirit well enough to recognise which part of ourselves is in need of nourishment at any given time and how best to nourish it.

Otherwise, all too often when we have a heart, mind or spiritual need to talk something through with someone or for time outside for a walk or break or to do something fun, we may instead find ourselves mindlessly eating food that is not nutritious or nourishing.

The act of physically eating when your hunger is of a different kind is to temporarily distract yourself from the true source of hunger.  After which you are left not only with the original hunger but also with the discomfort of eating unnecessarily.

We all do this to a degree.

Especially me!

But we need to recognise when we are doing it that we may stop to identify the true source of our hunger that we can respond by nourishing it appropriately.

It is a hungry business being a human.

Let us learn how to nourish our hungers in healthy ways.

The better able we are to nourish all the parts of ourselves well, the better able we are to share such nourishment with others.

Ten Brand New Ones

Not only are we looking in to the face of a whole new year but actually in to ten whole new years, otherwise known as a decade!

And, whilst the term ’New Years’ Resolution’ appears to be currently out of favour, the importance of acknowledging this new time frame remains.

Part of doing so involves acknowledging the death or ending of the previous year and decade.   

We may consider where we were ten years ago, where we imagined we would be at this point versus where we are now in reality.

There may be regrets as to what was not achieved or what turned out differently to how we hoped.

Whilst we cannot go back or re-write what has passed, we can acknowledge such regrets along with any subsequent sense of loss accompanying them.

We don’t have to leave it there though or to passively allow another year much less a decade to pass us by if we are not where we want to be.

Where we do have choices we must decide whether or not to activate them.

This week as I have reflected upon this, I have noticed a theme emerging around the influence of death or even the threat of death to a loved one.  

When forced to stare in to the face of our own mortality by the presence or threat of death, it is common to find ourselves propelled out of any inertia.

Death may evoke a deeper experiential knowing that this life thing does not continue forever.

This willingness to engage with mortality, whether our own or others, can become the pinnacle for change and movement toward a deeper engagement with life.

But, it is not always the death or threat of death to a loved one that forces us to engage with life afresh.  At times it can be the death or ending of life as previously known.  For whilst us humans often accept the status quo irrespective of personal cost and loss of aliveness, death and life will often invite us to search for more.

I often hear people say that the worst experiences of their life that effectively killed off life as they formerly knew it, end up becoming the very events that mobilise them in to action to make the radical changes they long for.  

Whilst the death, loss, ending, disappointments and regrets of the previous year or decade must be acknowledged, they need not deter us from engaging afresh with all that lay ahead.

The new decade invites us all to enter in to its embrace and opportunities, its highs and lows, good times and bad.

How will we respond?

Will we dare to make plans or take steps towards that which we really long for?

The new decade awaits …