Last weekend I had the gift of a three day weekend.
Something I planned in anticipation of a busy few weeks preparing for various teachings.
Finishing work at 7pm last Thursday, I headed straight to Wolverhampton to stay with a good friend in her beautiful home.
Time with close friends is always precious.
After Friday mornings’ long and leisurely breakfast of feasting and catching up, we headed off for our planned spa day. A longed for day of utter pampering and total relaxation.
Or so we thought!
First off we got in to the Jacuzzi where we quickly discovered that in reality, the chemical filled bubbles splashing repeatedly in to our eyes, felt more like hard work than relaxing! Ditto attempting to sit still, look ladylike and feel comfortable whilst sweating excessively in the steam room!
As such, both experiences were promptly followed by the much more relaxing option of simply lazing on a lounger in a warm room.
Zero effort required.
Finally!
At this point, I resisted the urge to fill this much wanted space with the distraction of a phone. Instead, I closed my eyes to fully focus on the experience of doing absolutely nothing! I was able to relish the sensation of simply being, in a warm, quiet room. Here I could allow myself to indulge in an introverts delight of wall gazing time. Minus the wall.
Processing was in process!
What luxury!
After a while, it was time for our scheduled massages.
And I love a massage.
Mostly.
But, as we compared notes afterwards, we discovered that we had both found them to be bone crunchingly painful in places!
“Relax”, my masseuse repeatedly urged me as she kneaded her knuckles in to my chest bone. Far from relaxing, I was issuing repeat prayers for her to stop! I couldn’t quite bring myself to ask her to stop as I was telling myself that this was ‘good for me and thus I must endure it’!
It turns out that my friend was having exactly the same experience. We laughed as we shared notes on our respective massages along with the privilege of paying for something that in places felt more like an endurance test than a pamper session.
I reflected on how I like the soothing, relaxing aspect of my body being massaged. But, I do not like the bits that are actually releasing stress and tension because these parts of the process cause me pain.
This is the pain of pain release!
Yet it would seem that whilst I want to benefit from the release of stress and pain, I do not want to go through the painful process required to do so!
I can’t help but wonder if this is how some of my clients feel; they like the supportive, comforting part of counselling that sooths their minds and hearts, but they do not like the more painful parts that actually facilitate the release of their internal pain or cause them the discomfort of knowing change needs to occur and they are the ones to make it happen!
Perhaps they, like me, want the end result without having to go through the process required to get there!
A reflection perhaps of our universal human desire to get some place without needing to walk the necessary pathway!
How we like to avoid the effort required, the inevitable pain involved along with the discomfort of uncertainty and risk that accompany us humans if we wish to stay well, alive and growing!
I can’t help but wonder how much extra and unnecessary pain our attempts at pain avoidance, may be causing us!
Point to ponder!