Month: December 2020

The Year we didn’t see coming

2020: The year that no one saw coming. 

I think it would be fair to say that 2020 is the year we didn’t see coming but we all want to see going.

At least we didn’t see it coming if we weren’t in China or didn’t have access to such classified information.

We just could not have anticipated what 2020 would bring.  Personally I’m not sure I would have wanted to.  Others may feel differently.

What we do appear to be pretty unanimous about is that we all want to see 2020 go.

But, whilst it has bought the biggest crisis the world has faced in a long time, the end of 2020 will not be the end of it.

There is real hope in the form of the new vaccines currently making their way in to the arms of our most vulnerable. 

Yet there is still a way to go.

What makes all this especially hard for us humans is that there is so much uncertainty coupled with a lack of control and no clear end date.  As a result we try to create control and certainty by splitting things in to black and white states.  For example, it was a good or a bad year, or in the case of 2020, a terrible year.

We don’t tend to do well at the grey stuff in between that us and life are actually made up of.

Hence we like to imagine that if 2020 ends it will take all the bad stuff we experienced with it. 

Equally, we are prone to losing sight of all that was good in a year very definitely overshadowed by that which was bad. 

But even in a catastrophic year like this one, Covid is not the whole story. Nor do we need to allow it to obscure our view or memory of that which was worthy of celebration.

Just as we must continue to find ways to honour the lives that have been lost, we must equally honour those that have been born and those of us somewhere in between.

Covid with all its human separating tendencies has reminded us in the starkest way that all that matters is each other.

Families have learned to spend time together, to get out and walk or go for bike rides together.

We’ve started sending actual cards to each other again.

Churches have risen above their previous focus of denominational difference to literally make beautiful music together.

Church and communities have created numerous initiatives to respond to those in need.

The Scientific powers that be have managed to produce a vaccine in record time.  Not, I believe because they have cut corners but because they have cut through the red tape that usually binds them from achieving such feats.

All in all, nothing is rarely ever all good or all bad. 

2020 is no exception nor will 2021 be.

It is bad and sad that there has been much loss of actual life whether directly or indirectly as a result of Covid, as well as numerous more subtle losses.  And all losses must be grieved. 

But, if we have the courage to engage with the sorrow of our losses, we will find our capacity for appreciation of the gifts life continues to offer, to be enriched and enlarged.

Every crisis, trauma or loss has deep within it the chance to deepen the experience and enjoyment of life.  We have to work much harder in challenging times to find those moments of magic but paradoxically it is our ability to engage with the depths of death, destruction and despair that can propel us in to ever increasing degrees of joy.

I was recently reminded of this via two of my favourite festive films; Scrooge and It’s a wonderful Life.  Both explore the theme of death as a way to review the life led to that point.  And both enable their protagonists to re-engage with their lives where they had previously been unable to move beyond their respective losses.  After seeing their lives and deaths through the eyes of others, both were returned to these lives armed with a fresh revelation and gratitude for their own life as well as those around them.  

Life is not all good or all bad. 

Life brings things which we name good or bad.

2020 bought a bumper crop of that we call bad. 

But this is still no reason to over look, diminish or write off that which was good.

We all want 2020 gone but whilst it will not take all things Covid with it, we must not allow it to take or tarnish the good either.

I continue to be inspired by the community spirit, the new willingness to use technology (especially by me!), the creativity, the collaboration, the deepening of relationships despite enforced separation and the ability to recognise the importance of doing life and all that it brings, together, even when that can’t happen physically.

We have been reminded this 2020 that whilst fragile and fleeting, life is still the most precious of gifts, both our own and each others.

Let us hold firmly to this truth as we watch 2020 go, that we may support one another as we enter 2021 with all the Covid and non Covid challenges and triumphs that it will present.

Covid tries to steal Christmas

What a week. 

What a year.

Who isn’t absolutely sick of, if not with, Covid right now?

Even if we haven’t directly lost anyone to Covid, the ripple effects of loss are continuing for us all.

Last week, I was feeling super excited that I had almost got to the start of this much awaited break.

Then the news we had all expected arrived.  In dribs and drabs the restrictions were increased and tightened until it basically felt like Christmas had been cancelled.

In addition I found out that two close friends and their partners had tested positive.  Who hasn’t had it themselves or knows someone who has?

Suddenly the anticipation preceding my break turned in to a horrible flat, energy and excitement stealing low.  And then the tears came. I just let them.

Whilst speaking to a friend the night before, she reminded me that I’m usually pretty good at allowing my sadness to come, feeling and acknowledging it and trusting it to pass.  With this in mind I allowed it to do just that.  And when it did my capacity for appreciation was restored and enlarged.

There are so many overt losses as a result of Covid from lives to livelihoods.  This reality must not be diminished or belittled in any way.

But there are also numerous covert losses, most recently of the hopes and plans we had for Christmas.  It cannot be what we wish or want it to be and it is totally natural to feel sad about that.

The more friends I speak and listen to, the more I realise just how many of us are experiencing these low waves of sadness and generally unwanted feelings followed by a renewed surge of gratitude for what we do have.

Whilst riding my bike through the picturesque local villages last Sunday, I was reminded that whilst it felt like Covid had stolen Christmas, in reality nothing can steal Christmas.  

Christmas is about our capacity to care for, to show love to, to be there for even when we cannot be there with each other.  And nothing can steal that.

Covid is forcing us to become ever more imaginative in how we continue to be there for one another as well as making us increasingly more dependent on technology to do so.

But we can and we must continue to be there with each other in spirit if not in body.  We can continue to connect, to share, to laugh and cry with each other no matter what.

My hope on this most unnatural of Christmases, is that none of us would allow the presence of Covid to obstruct our view of what Christmas and life are actually about.

My prayer is that we may each continue to know and experience the love of God Almighty Himself today and beyond for it is His love that enables us to endure all things.  And if you don’t believe in Him, may you know and remain connected to those around you, who love you.

No one and no thing can steal the true meaning of Christmas from any of us.

Sending out Christ filled love to all, especially those who are alone through circumstance rather than choice.

Holidays are coming

At least this is what the Coco Cola advert says but as far as I am concerned they are not coming quick enough!

I’ve attempted to slow everything down but as anyone who is responsible for a house, business or family know, there are numerous things you just can’t put on hold.

And so, I am crawling my way through to the Christmas holidays.

In fact, I feel like I’m way behind the masses this year.  As a huge fan of all things Christmas, the 1st is my official start date.  Yet for many, it would seem that the presence of Covid acts as code for start early and go big.  

I don’t think I have ever before seen so many Christmas lights whether in houses or shops at this time of year. Hence in comparison I’m feeling like I’m slow off the mark.  That said, I did manage to get out to buy my own Christmas tree earlier this week where the vendor told me he had already sold 150 pines!

Blimey!

I also received my first card last week and two presents this week.  Some people are seriously ahead of the game!

My own chunky but funky little pine tree is now dressed and lit.  Now that I finally have a green garden I will even be able to plant it up after this season that I can use it again for the next.

Whilst I’m still a little snowed under with painting and decorating as well as catching up on training opportunities for work, my aim is to put the extra work down by the end of this week and throw myself in to all things Christmas.

It will of course be a very different Christmas this year.  Whilst Covid was but a Chinese whisper this time last year, it is now separating many from their loved ones.  Numerous family’s are finding themselves agonising over whether to meet and mix with family during the five day flout fest (as my sister has termed it).  Some people feel safe, others do not. Those who do not, want to avoid offending those who do and so another layer of potential conflict and complication is added to what can already be a challenging season for many.  

Personally I am so wrapped up in exhausting myself with house sorting that I’ll be happy just to have a break.  I haven’t quite got round to thinking about, let alone organising who I will or wont be seeing nor whether they will or wont want to see me!  

As for my own family, the ongoing estrangement from most of them spares me from wrestling with that particular dilemma!  Every cloud!

Generally, recent surveys suggest that the majority feel the sacrifice of one Christmas with family is a worthy act if it prevents further Covid spreading.  

After one of the most peculiar and challenging years of recent times, most do not want to prolong matters longer than necessary.  Rather, most seem willing to forgo the usual level of festivities and family engagements.  Who is to say for how many this offers respite rather than resentment!

Personally, I’m gutted there will be no Christmas parties this year!  I usually have around four booked in full of feasting and shape throwing.  I’ve really missed the chance to get out and dance this year.  With the exception of a spontaneous outburst of dancing in my neighbours living room (back when that was allowed), I’ve done no dancing this year and I miss it!

But other than that, the socialising restrictions have simply given me permission to focus solely on house sorting which has actually been rather helpful, if exhausting.

Christmas will indeed be quiet for me this year.  And at this point, I feel pretty grateful for the chance it offers to hunker down to watch Christmas films, bake mince pies and enjoy the great outdoors all without the option to attempt to fit in crazy amounts of catch ups.   

But until those holidays actually do come, I will get my head down, do what is necessary, enjoy what I can along the way and look forward to the chance to stop, breath and reflect.