As someone who has always enjoyed a voracious appetite for reading, I am regularly frustrated by my seeming inability to make time to indulge.
However, I was fortunate enough to enjoy time away in a different space recently. Said space was in Sicily where I was distraction free, warm, peaceful and by a swimming pool. Aside from some online work, I had no one to see and nowhere I had to go. Bliss. I was reminded that I haven’t experienced such freedom from a relentless schedule since the lockdown. How quickly I have allowed a ridiculously fast paced life to take hold.
Anyway, whilst away I found myself able to inhale not just one but two books. I can’t remember the last year in which I read two books!! I dip into books here and there but to actually read one from cover to cover is a rarity I had not found the mental energy or capacity to enjoy.
This was a wonderful experiential reminder of the absolute joy of reading. As one who loves to write myself, I can’t get enough of reading what others have to say.
If I’m lucky, I typically get through a newspaper once a week but my time in Sicily reminded me how much I love to read the thoughts, opinions, experiences, perspective and knowledge of others expressed through books. It expands me.
One of said books was written by a forensic pathologist called Dr Richard Shepherd about his life experience predominantly around his work with death. My friend enquired with surprise as to what on earth I was reading something so heavy for!!! I assured her that it was full of humanity, integrity, wisdom and compassion, all of which are amongst my favourite things! It was utterly fascinating, and I highly recommend it. Whether we deny or acknowledge the reality of death, it exists all around us and I whole heartedly believe that our capacity to acknowledge this reality can inform and inspire how we engage with whatever life we are given.
The other book was called Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. This is an absolute must read for anyone with a parent/s who imagines they own their children, are entitled to demand what they want when they want it, disrespect all boundaries and are master manipulators when it comes to engendering guilt designed to keep you hooked to their needs all whilst dismissing, denying and belittling yours.
This is written in highly human terms for such parents are unfortunately prevalent and my work is such that I come in to contact with many who are trying to heal from them.
However, one of the things I love about this book is that it does not pathologize, label or demonise such a parent. Whilst it is unrealistic to imagine that human parents do not have any limitations, any more than their human adult offspring, this book is written in a deeply respectful way which recognises that such behaviour is borne out of unresolved suffering.
The basic difference between those who progress towards emotional maturity and those do not, whether adult parents or adult children, is the willingness to own and examine one’s own behaviour in order to learn and grow, as opposed to remaining stuck in a position of blaming others.
As I say, this book is an absolute must read for anyone wishing to release themselves from the exhausting and damaging cycle of longing for emotionally immature parents to become capable of something they cannot.
Anyway, I can hardly believe it’s been almost two weeks since I returned from this trip.
However, having experienced the joy of reading afresh whilst away, I have since found myself naturally swapping the TV for reading. My appetite for the written word has returned with a vengeance and my commitment to satisfying rather than suppressing it, has been renewed.