Eyes, ears and the consumer of cake

How grateful I am to have finally granted myself permission to take my foot off the gas. Or rather, I have been forced to over these past few years and eventually, I have accepted the need for less speed. I have even begun to overcome my initial shocking attitude of anything but gratitude.

Anyway, one of my growing reasons for finally appreciating doing less and being more is the issue of maintenance. It feels to me that ever since the mayhem of middle-aged hormonal havoc began its reign of life altering activities, it has become something of a part time job to maintain my system. And that’s not just trying to get a GP appointment and then another one with someone trained on menopause and then get a prescription for something that is then out of stock. That’s a separate story that I can’t be arsed to tell right now as it would dampen my mood more than these January, February, March and April showers.

So, back to the eyes, ears and cake gnashers; this year I have had them all cleaned, unblocked and checked for signs of anything sinister. I am pleased to report that aside from the expected wear and tear associated with middle age, I’m apparently looking healthy. I am very pleased to hear this as I am a very visual person and one who listens for a living. Tick, tick. And I’ve even stopped complaining and getting the hump about the ever-diminishing size of the font on anything that I really want or need to read. Upon seeing me squinting at a menu through one eye in the way I used to watch the TV back in my inebriated days, my partner offered me his glasses. To my surprise and delight, I could then read the menu using both eyes minus the need for squinting or winking. Subsequently I had to relent and buy myself some of those supermarket stocking magnifying glasses that I always swore I would never wear. Oh how things change! I once said I’d never own one of those awful garden gnome things yet there is one looking at me from my own garden. I know, I can only assume I bought it in one of my many moments of madness. I blame hormones; the more I learn about them, the more I understand they are responsible for virtually all the body’s functioning, or in middle age, malfunctioning. True story. But, if I ever hit the three ducks on the wall stage, someone have a word.

Anyway, I can now see and hear again which is a big bonus as per the above. And of course, as a baker and consumer of cake, I need to keep my gnashers in good shape. Even more so now that I have recovered my ability to bear them in a smile rather than a grimace or growl. I find it ironic that I have such super strong teeth that I’ve never had a filling (honestly, despite the cakes), yet I’ve always been prone to weak gums. If these are not maintained sufficiently, they can recede so far that my teeth, irrespective of strength, will fall out. Who says God doesn’t have a sense of humour. Either way a set of falsies does not appeal. Of course, should these gnashers of mine do the off, I suspect the desire for cake will cause me to change my mind about this too.

However, what I do apparently need is a protector for nightly gnashing. Like many of us, I am a serial clencher and grinder of gnashers. Apparently, my back canines are no longer so sharp having been ground down by a lifetime of poor stress management. I know how they feel! While I have reduced stress, I cannot know or control what my body may still be doing at night in this regard. The outcome of my need for a tooth guard was an invoice that I was presented with upon departing the Dentist. Fortunately, the instinctive teeth clenching manoeuvre prevented the words, ‘Ow much?’ from flying out loudly. It was the price of an overseas holiday. Last year I wasn’t well enough to go overseas and this year I may not be well off enough! Luckily for me, I’m still revelling in the gratitude of feeling way better this year than I have in recent years!

All in all, maintaining this aging system of mine is now my new part time job, which isn’t overly enjoyable but is utterly essential. This despite the pay being crap and the cost being high. I suspect the cost of not accepting this job, would be higher still.

According to an older friend of mine, this maintenance business becomes a full-time job in retirement. I’ll need a pension then so I can retire and accept that job should God grant me those years.