Time for the body

Last week some deep bodily trauma was prodded and poked as it made its way up and out of me. This process culminated in a deepening of my faith which in turn led to a poem, which will be in my book. In recognition of this intensely emotional process, this week I am treating my body to some serious pampering.

Those who have endured the sort of childhood experiences that require a cutting off from the body, may know that it is a lifelong practice to learn to be in, feel safe and stay connected to the body.

Our culture also constantly reinforces the mind/body split by predominantly privileging thinking over feeling or embodying. The phrase, ‘mind over matter’, springs to mind (no pun intended).  I am not suggesting that we abandon the minds we’ve been given but that the mind and body are supposed to be in partnership. Along with all the other parts of us, these make up the entirety of the team. When the mind overrides the warnings and wisdom of the body as the default approach, it is only a matter of time before malfunctioning occurs. When one part is not operating as intended, it will inevitably have an impact on the rest.

Having spent the past few years resisting and resenting the carnage and chaos that accompanied my fluctuating hormones, I am now slowly learning to work with my body.  This means regularly asking my mind to step aside, be still and quiet and allow my body to reveal what it needs. The most regularly ignored protest of my body is still, ‘let me REST’. When you learn to disconnect from your body early on, you remain vulnerable to not recognising when overriding it. This ability was essential for surviving back then but it is limiting and potentially harmful to continue now. Middle ageing has certainly given me a few slaps around the chops in this regard to force some essential changes.

As my body threw up more of the deep bodily held trauma last week, my respect for all it has endured and held for me, continued to grow in line with my recognition of this. So, as I ease towards a much-needed week off, I am loving giving my body lots of attention and care this week.

To this end, I have just returned from the luxury of a two-hour massage. I’m talking next level yumminess; warm room, comfy bed, soothing sounds, almost edible smelling oils and the healing power of touch. I overcame my dislike of being touched many moons ago while spending two months in Thailand in basic rooms minus air con. I discovered that I disliked being unable to sleep more than I disliked the touch involved in massage. And I’ve developed a genuine love for safe, healing touch ever since.

The only discomfort in the entire two hours of this morning’s massage was when my bladder started demanding I empty it. This is an example of where it is necessary to override the body’s needs as long as only for a short time! When I did visit the toilet after the massage, a quick check in the mirror confirmed 1) my hair was such that I looked like a wild woman and 2) I had my shirt on back to front! A testament to how relaxed and embodied I was … the mind really had switched off!  Mostly anyway.

And this is just one of the body focused treats I am giving myself this week – my body has been denied its deeper needs for too long and now that I am enjoying listening to it, learning from it and giving it what it needs and wants, I’m making up for lost time.

I would totally recommend regularly reminding yourself that we are not, as society would often have us believe, just walking heads. This year, I will continue to focus on building and strengthening my mind/body connection. And I’ll be flagging up lots of wonderful local women who offer various services that support this, via a local blog.

It turns out that middle aging isn’t only about managing misery … Hallelujah!