I call bullshit

Yesterday while scrolling on Facebook I read something that activated my bullshit detector. It was something about what’s important in life. Most of which I agreed with. However, one line jumped out at me. It turned me right off and I stopped reading immediately. It read something like,

• ‘most people don’t have jobs they love, they have jobs they sometimes like, that pay the bills’.

At first glance most would probably agree. I call bullshit. Quite often untruths parade about the place with a kernel of truth that gets accepted as the whole truth. Nothing in this life is all true or all untrue but a mix of both. What we refer to as truth is rarely the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth. You’ve only got to look at our justice system to see theatrics in action around the concept of the whole truth. (and of course some good cases of justice, somewhere I hope). What things look like often gets accepted as truth if it’s presented in a convincing enough manner. Or like the quote above, if enough people accept it.

Anyway, back to this idea about work. Let me be quite clear – I love my work whether writing or counselling, with all my heart, mind and body (we really can’t separate these).

On the counselling front, it is a massive privilege to hold space for people with the courage and commitment to grow despite the growing pains involved. To watch people benefit from the fruits of their labours makes my heart skip for joy. I have on occasion even been known to jump up and do a jig in response to a client’s growth. I did ask their permission first as I didn’t want to totally weird them out! But I do get very excited about this work which can at times even incorporate play.

It would be remiss of me not to add that the work is also tiring which translates into lots of breaks and time out in nature.  As for admin and accounts, what a yawn. When it comes to tech, don’t get me started. And, counselling others can be extremely difficult when I am going through a difficult phase myself. Hence my ongoing commitment to my own counselling when required. (which is quite a lot!). But, all things considered, I love this work.

As for the writing, this has always been my play but can also be work. I’ve been working on my first book for forty-eight years so far! This definitely feels like work. When I don’t write enough to balance my counselling work, I become a much grumpier version of myself. And so I try to permit myself the play of writing as much as time and energy allows. For everyone’s benefit.

Therefore, this notion that we cannot do work that we love does not fit my lived experience. I need to point out that this job that I love so much didn’t fall out of the sky into my lap. I spent a decade training, volunteering, sacrificing holidays and cars and moving house or rather room/bedsit, eight times. During which I worked in a secondary school and I cleaned people’s houses. Financially I pretty much lived off fresh air and prayer. I can subsequently testify that God did provide while I was developing the desires He put on my heart.

Suffice to say this was not an easy decade in any way, yet I’d do the same again. That’s before I factor in the family stuff – surviving this remains my biggest achievement to date.

Anything worth having in life requires work to make it a reality. No one gets to avoid that. Except maybe the super privileged. However, the school of hard knocks teaches lessons in character and attitude that entitlement can’t.

So after reading what I read yesterday, I felt very sad that the majority seem to accept this nonsense about work being merely a means to an end. There are times when this is true (see above) but as a lifelong philosophy? It makes me conclude, rightly or wrongly that if people accept this as truth, this is what they will settle for. I’m not imagining that everyone has huge passions in life. But all have a unique set of strengths and weaknesses as well as benefits and challenges. I believe that life and work is about bringing our all to the table to do the best we can with what we’ve got. I’ve come to believe that when my heart is no longer in something whether a relationship/job/church/whatever, it’s time to get the rest of me out.

And wherever I go in life, those individuals that put their heart into their work stand out in the very best way. Certainly they are in contrast to those whom everything is too much for them to do. And I do say this as someone who was once told by a colleague my epitaph would read, ‘Jo cba’d Loach’. This was fair and true while stuck in corporate captivity. We all have jobs that bring out the worst in us (I felt like a caged animal) and those that bring out the best, as well as all in between. It is our responsibility to choose which we will aspire to, settle for, or take steps towards.

It’s important to acknowledge it’s not always easy to seek the path of fulfilment. And we all have bills to pay. But, I honestly believe that if we seek for what our hearts desire where this brings enjoyment to us and others, there is always a way.

We don’t have to settle for the lie that work cannot be enjoyable, fulfilling or enough to pay the bills. This is of course easier for those like me who are happy to live out of charity shops and Lidl’s!! The chains and trappings of success are not for me; not at the cost of my time, energy or lifestyle.

Work can be a source of enjoyment and fulfilment as well as a few unavoidable stress evoking bits, for us all.