The cultivation of calm

The experience of calm is often longed for but largely incompatible with our fast-paced culture. However, an inner sensation of calm does not have to depend on external conditions. They do help of course just as certain conditions hinder the sensation of calm.  

This period before Christmas can be excessively busy, social and stressful resulting in much rushing around. This can feel chaotic and exhausting but not necessarily calm. And therefore, the ability to cultivate calm amidst this season, is even more precious.

Yesterday when faced with the task of shopping, that can so easily overwhelm me, I chose to spend a little extra time asking, ‘the man who can’, to give me a lot of extra help with this calm maintaining malarkey. I knew that with 2 lists of items to buy from six different places, I could quickly descend into raging and snarling mode. I knew that I would struggle with all the stress inducing scenarios that shopping is filled with; crowds, noise, queues and self-service machines that don’t recognise items from their own shops. And therefore, I would need some help from on high to maintain my calm without losing my cool or anything else.

And so it was, after admitting my need for help and asking for a large portion of it, I headed off to the shops keen to see how the experience would unfold. Generally, I have about a two-hour limit for shopping, but I parked that knowledge along with the car and practised calmly focusing on making my way through the shops/lists. I was especially delighted that upon arriving in shop number one, I could still find the lists that I meticulously prepared before leaving the house. Whenever I get to a shop only to discover that my list has disappeared from the depths of my bag, I experience an instant switch into snarling beast mode. That’s not fun for anyone.

Anyway, I am delighted to share that I got round all six places which provided most of what was on my lists. A momentary thought as to whether I could manage a seventh place was quickly dismissed. I could not. I had reached my limit and wished to quit while still on the right side of it. This is progress.

As I drove home, I reflected that I had managed to do all that within less than two and half hours. Not with my usual approach of rushing around like a lunatic causing myself and anyone around me entirely avoidable stress, but by doing this whole calm thing. I even caught myself smiling at people and engaging in conversation. While I didn’t want to prolong the whole experience, I did quite like it! Which is good to remember ahead of doing what may be one of several ‘last’ trips to the shops today.

This cultivation of calm is a revelation! And a very welcome one! Especially while in a season where emotions can become heightened, stress can arise unexpectedly or in line with fast-growing but never-ending to-do-lists and moods can drop as fast as sugar laden treats are inhaled. The ability to find calm, amidst this Christmas season, is a super special gift for the season. For everyone.