The need to plan

Last year taught us not to plan!  Or rather that the best laid plans can be totally scuppered by matters beyond our control.

But what I am beginning to realise is that it is unhelpful to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

After a restful break, I started this week accompanied by an abundance of enthusiasm for all things new including this year. 

Despite hating the end of Christmas, I had managed to remove all signs of it prior to my return to work. Unless you count the endless amount of hoover avoiding pine needles!

Having also recommitted myself to morning quiet times and a snack reduction program for the evenings, I was ready to immerse myself in the new working week.

Bring it on, I thought.

I flew through Monday and Tuesday with great energy and enjoyment.   

Yet on Wednesday I found myself descending in to a pit of despondency.

As someone who loves to spend time gazing out of the window especially now that I have a conservatory that I didn’t even realise I wanted, I really value these times of stillness and solitude. 

However, there is a point beyond which such time ceases to be restful or inspiring instead becoming wasteful and energy sapping.  I crossed that line by Wednesday lunch time.

What was going on?

I took a firm handle on myself, prised myself from the sofa, layered up and took myself out for an appointment with the great if rather chilly, outdoors.

As I walked, I reflected on the lack of differentiation between last year and this.  The absence of celebration or party, the pointlessness of making long term plans for 2021, further exacerbated by the latest lockdown.

I realised that whilst it is indeed a folly to make plans involving anything beyond our control right now, it does not remove the need to have some kind of plans.

It was many years ago now that aided by one wiser than me, I discovered that I am a person who needs a plan.  Without one I am prone to falling in to an abyss accompanied only by apathy and despondency.

I need a plan on which to structure myself and my time if not wishing to waste either.

As one who has many interests which are unaffected by the recent restrictions, I often need to relearn the importance of being proactive about planning times to do the things that nourish and uplift me.  How easy I find it to avoid the effort required to do this. Not so forgoing the rewards.

I don’t need to plan every second as I need time to be spontaneous too.  But if I have too much time, I cease to use it productively or enjoyably.

As I reflected upon this week, I realised that my creative juices were definitely replenished by my recent break.   I have noticed this through my awakened appetite for new recipes or to follow new pathways out on my walks.  I want newness, change, difference, things that inspire and enliven.  And they are still possible albeit in a limited way.

I realised that unless I want to lose myself, my time and my newly refreshed creativity, by lapsing in to a listless lump, I must be more proactive than ever in planning how to utilise my work free time in ways that allow and sustain balance in creativity, nourishment, connectivity and physical activity.

All this sometimes feels like hard work especially in these challenging and restricted times of repetition.   Yet I have learned over and over that it is a work that is rich in reward.

And so it is I am planning times to invest in the things I enjoy; more house decorating, reading those books whose invitations I keep ignoring, exploring and creating new recipes, going through old photography to choose those I wish to print and frame, connecting with others albeit aided by technology, watching new drama’s and films minus the non-stop snacking (in theory) and regularly getting outside no matter how cold.

If I can plan and more importantly implement these activities, I will continue to value and enjoy myself, my time, my friends and my life, in spite of all that remains beyond my control.  

I suspect I may need to repeat this lesson throughout 2021!