Emotional Health - Life is calling

Dirty rotten scoundrels AKA fraudsters and conmen

Last weekend I had a horrible, stressful, sleep stealing experience.

Before that during my few work free days, I actually stopped to enjoy the fruits of my labours of hours of painting and decorating over the last two months. I love and am pleased with the results of my efforts, apart from a revolting pink wall which will have to be repainted.

But anyway, I am immensely grateful for this home as well as the chance that last week gave to happily while away hours sat in my conservatory staring out at the great blue (and at times grey) yonder whilst the birds very generously provided an accompaniment of their finest, vocal repertoire.

It took the whole of Monday just to adjust down to first gear.

By Tuesday I was ready to return to the beloved fields by my previous property, where I ambled freely for hours.

In the absence of time by the sea, the vastness of the green, open spaces proved an excellent substitute.

By Wednesday, I was ready and eager to run by the river, lakes and fields. I was gifted by the great expanse of green fields stretching out in every direction, draped in an atmospheric mist. It was stunning and I wished I had my camera.

I quit my usual weekly commitments such as on line pilates to enjoy a total break from routine.

It was bliss.

During this time, I had a knock on the door from a firm who had been working a few doors down. I know, I know, door to door salesmen!

Did I want a no obligation free quote for any work, they asked.

In my relaxed holiday mode, I replied in the affirmative. It had been niggling away at me since buying this property that I needed to get some work done. I was apprehensive about the cost but thought the opportunity had come to me to get my research started with a quote. Not wishing to do so during my holiday I booked it in for after my return to work.

On the Saturday the sales agent called, I had been immersed in the last of my painting right up to the moment he arrived. I was in no way prepared for what was about to happen.

Said sales person came in to my home to go through the company information. As he was extremely cold from doing his previous appointment outside (something I should have done), I immediately switched the heating on high and provided hot coffee.

Twenty five minutes and a fair bit of waffle later and I began to feel a little irked that I was no closer to getting my quote and my precious Saturday afternoon was disappearing fast.

But, as a female, of English culture and a Christian, I am of course as primed as the next person that one must be polite, courteous and hospitable to the person in your home, right? Even if one wants to say, ‘let’s cut to the chase here because I want to get on with my day’, one doesn’t. Or at least this one didn’t, to my detriment.

Somewhere within the two and half hours that this person was in my home, their sales technique was so powerful that I actually lost my capacity to think straight or to hold on to the fact that I had booked for a quote alone as a start point for my research for this work.

How wonderful hindsight would be if only it arrived a little earlier.

In the moment, having been reeled in and pressured, I succumbed to fear tactics that the cost of work would increase by £2K if I didn’t sign immediately. I signed. No explanation of the cooling off, no honest, transparent discussion around terms, just a sign here, here and here.

Of course I now see clear as day that any firm that hike their prices by £2K because you want time to think is not a firm to do business with.

But as I say, I got reeled in.

This seeming spell that had been cast upon me was broken the instant the sales man was out of my house.

I felt sick.

I knew that I had been well and truly duped.

Research via Checkertrade confirmed my worst fears.

A second quote by a reputable company, conducted in 10 minutes outside my property, quoted me £5K under the previous firms’ first offer. They also shared that they had heard from many others of similar experiences of the sales tactics of this firm.

So much for the generous part of me that wished to think I had encountered one bad apple in an otherwise decent company.

After speaking and praying with close friends, I emailed this company that night to cancel. I would have left a message on their cancellation line only there was no facility to do so.

In fairness, the person I spoke with Monday morning offered a full refund no questions asked. Perhaps this was a common occurrence for them. Or they realised it would become a case for Trading Standards and the Ombudsman if not. I don’t know.

The director then emailed requesting me to email my bank details for the refund.

I had two conversations with that director that day. He duly returned my money but asked nothing of my experience, my concern, my complaint, my subsequent impression of his company or what he intended to do to address such unscrupulous sales tactics. My sense was that I would be wasting my breath, to volunteer it.

After receiving my money back, I emailed my thanks along with my concerns re the above. By 11am the following morning, with no response, I wrote a Google review to warn others.

Suddenly I had three missed calls from said director whose follow up email revealed that he now he wanted very much to discuss the matter.

After replying with the facts of the situation and offering to speak when I had finished work, he no longer wanted to speak.

The negation and dismissal of my experience merely served to confirm this as a firm without integrity who operate in unscrupulous ways from the top, down.

What a horrible taste this left in the mouth.

I was stunned and disturbed that I had been so royally conned by someone willing to rob me of an overpayment of £5K and all done whilst in the sanctuary of my own home. It would seem that my hospitality and possibly female gender (I was asked if I was single in the phone call to confirm the appointment – are men asked this?), were taken as fair game for extreme exploitation.

I can only assume those same English, female and Christian values are the very ones that allow such a firm to continue to conduct itself in such a manner. Most people, male or female, are too English to complain to the firm in question, preferring instead to tell others about their experience hence the reputation this firm has behind the scenes.

By directly raising this with said firm, they had, but failed to take, an opportunity to resolve the situation with sincerity.

What did make me chuckle was that whilst there were only 1 possibly 2 Google reviews for this firm in the previous year, before mine, suddenly 3 glowing reviews appeared. One of which from someone with a profile picture of Pinocchio as if this is an image associated with honesty!

Anyway, the more people I talk to about this, the more I discover that we have all have a story of being conned at some point.

How very sad that such people are out there operating in all kinds of ways.

There is currently a scam via text claiming to be the HMRC requesting your personal details or threatening police action!

Fraudsters and conmen (and women) are all around and not just out there but also finding a way to get in here, being in the home. They may appear via phone, text, email or a knock at the door but they are particularly rampant at the moment.

Whilst it would be sad to look upon all with suspicion, when there are still so many honest, decent people who act with integrity, we must all, keep our wits about us when it comes to anything financial.

What a sad state of affairs.

Such behaviours do evoke both my pity and my prayers for those experiences that reduce people to conducting themselves in such a manner.

At times, I feel utterly resentful that those who hurt me the most end up getting so many of my prayers! I can only hope this works both ways in incidents where I hurt others!

For now, I will have to practice leaving this in the hands of the Almighty, whilst seeking His help to stop picking at it like a scab over a wound!

The need to rest

Having reached week eight of 2021 lockdown living, I am well and truly ready for a break from work. And this despite the fact that I absolutely love what I do.

However, I’ve been utilising the additional time and energy afforded by the restrictions to paint the house from top to bottom alongside work and other creative projects. Whilst I feel very satisfied with what I have achieved, I have also completely exhausted myself!

Hence, I’ve consulted with the calendar, counted down the remaining weeks until Easter and decided I need a break now to see me through.

The responses I get to this time off vary from ‘going anywhere exotic – haha’, to, ‘oh, you’re having time off when you can’t do anything?’.

It would seem that in general terms it is considered wasteful to take holiday when you can’t go away on holiday.

Not by me!

Sure, I would like to take off on a jaunt to the coast. I miss the sight, sound and space of being by the sea. But just because I can’t do what I really want to do, does not mean I wont do what I can do or enjoy it to the max.

And so, next week I will simply enjoy alarm clock free waking and work free living.

The days are a little longer and for now at least way milder than the snowy temperatures we saw a few short weeks back.

I look forward to taking walks without clock watching, week day bike rides and a leisurely nose around the garden centres for some Spring time inspiration.

I plan to sit still and actually enjoy being in the conservatory and new house in general, rather than going flat out to decorate it.

I even plan to make time to read more than one newspaper in the week. What luxury!

And I may even go crazy and sit and read my book.

Or walk through the fields with my camera at sunset.

I’ll probably indulge in some baking and creating in the kitchen.

Maybe I’ll have a few catch up calls with friends.

What’s not to love?

The fact that I cannot do many of the activities I may want to, does not mean that I cease to need time out to rest from my usual responsibilities.

Rest remains as, if not more, important than ever.

Bring it on.

Beware the Joy Thief

In recent weeks whilst listening to people, it has struck me that many people are not doing the very things that they love doing and could be doing.

Of course, I can’t say this without acknowledging that there are many things that we cannot do right now whatever our circumstances.

And of course right up there is the inability to be with those we love.

This is no small loss.

And it is dragging on.

However, it can be easy to become so immersed in the frustration, disappointment, despondency, irritation, repetitiveness and sadness of this lived reality that we fail to see above or beyond it.

Or that we get so distracted by judging who we think is and is not following the rules that we cease to see let alone implement what we could be doing differently within our own lives. (A flawed and fruitless part of human behaviour not restricted to pandemic times!)

Upon further questioning, people typically begin to recognise that there are creative pursuits and fun or relaxing endeavours that are still entirely possible at this time. Things in fact that they love doing but are not!

How easy it can be to lose sight of what is possible whilst in the midst of the unavoidable restrictions and subsequent losses.

We are all human.

We all get stuck at times.

We all get fed up.

We can all fail to see what is happening right under our noses.

But please, be especially alert at this time to the joy thief whose rampage is particularly subtle but also addressable.

We cannot control the pandemic or when and how the restrictions will be lifted.

But we can choose not to throw the baby out with the bathwater.

If you know there are things that you love doing and that are possible at this time, go and do them!

As the pandemic reminds us, life is too fragile to waste a single day not making time for that which uplifts, nourishes, relaxes or brings forth joy and laughter.

Come on people, we are allowed to lose our your know what as long as we don’t hurt ourselves or others in the process but there comes a time when we need to choose not to lose the joy that is possible.

As I keep hearing at the moment, life is for the living …

The holiday ban

Back at the start of January when I was at risk of falling in to a hole of lockdown induced apathy, I realised that I needed to plan what was possible for me to do, if I didn’t want to start losing my energy, motivation and general joy de vivre.

I am pleased to share that this has been going rather well.

I am currently on schedule for painting the entire house, yes wood work and all, by the end of February. At which point, I can focus on making small additions and tweaks here and there. I love the process of creating a warm and inviting space to live in, even if for now, it is only me, the cat and my support bubble who get to enjoy it!

In addition, my lifelong desire to write my first book is translating in to real sustained action!

Despite the odd flurry of snow or rain, I’ve still managed a near daily appointment with nature too.

And, I have been trying out various new recipes on the support bubble. The current hands down winner, is the jam doughnut muffin. Most dangerous.

All in all, I’ve been rather enjoying myself. Something that perhaps my refusal to spend much time listening to the news, has allowed me to sustain.

But by last week I was feeling rather tired and realised that it was time to book a holiday to break up the Christmas to Easter stretch.

I have now booked almost a week off.

A few people have jokingly asked where I am going!

At this point I am content enough to be in the newly decorated home minus any commitment to work. I also gain great enjoyment from exploring the surrounding areas by foot or bike so I can happily while away the days enjoying the freedom of uninterrupted time.

But, last night I happened to catch a part of the news where I heard it said that we may not be able to go away on holiday for the whole of this year.

WHAT?!

My ears tuned in.

What could this mean?

My heart sank a little. A problem of privilege in the grand scheme of things I realise.

But, holidays are important.

We all get worn down by the daily grind of life hence the importance of a change of scenery plus a break from daily responsibilities.

And now we are being told this may not be possible all year?

None of us know how things will pan out nor whether this vaccine will allow us to assume more freedom in reality.

And that sucks.

Whilst the approach of the warmer seasons will bring more appreciation than ever this year, a block on holidays is still a loss.

We will all need to be increasingly more imaginative in how we create novel, new ways of experiencing a sense of freedom and break from the norm.

In short, to rewrite what the term holiday means and looks like.

Every life counts

The big news this week aside from further home schooling for all those stressed parents attempting to juggle demanding jobs as well as schooling, was that over 100,000 lives have been lost to Covid.

That is an enormous amount of lives.

Maybe some of those actually died of non Covid related deaths but just happened to have tested positive in the month before death.

It could be that some died of Covid without ever getting a positive test and are not included within this.

Perhaps if we are talking about deaths related to Covid this would include those who have died in our care homes because without the contact from loved ones they had nothing to live for. By the same vein, there are those who take their own lives for the same reason.

What if we include all those who require life saving treatments for cancer and the likes but who cannot receive it because resources are reserved for Covid?

And I’m pretty sure there will be other casualties of Covid as yet uncovered.

Like the rest of life Covid is indiscriminate.

It does not distribute itself or its consequences fairly.

I certainly would not wish to be living through these times minus my belief in a God that is bigger than it all.

This week has shown us sobering statistics whatever the true numbers may be.

Every single one of these lives, whether included in the official numbers or not, is a life that matters. A life that would have impacted the lives of those around them; family, neighbours, friends, colleagues …

That is an enormous loss of life.

Whether this has hit us personally through deaths, ill health, loss of livelihood or in any other way, this tragic reality reminds us all of the fragility of life.

Life is a gift not to be squandered.

It can be taken away in an instant; our own or others.

Does this sober us enough to really think about what we are doing or what we want to be doing (yes within restrictions and beyond) with our lives to honour the gift that we have and the gift that so many have lost?

Every life counts.

What will you do with yours?

The need to breathe

We know we need to breathe.

But certain situations of which Covid would definitely qualify, can stop us from breathing easy.

It may not even be apparent to us until the moment of the long exhale.

I had this most delicious of experiences last Sunday whilst meandering through the rural lanes on my bike. My eyes were feasting on the vast green spaces stretching out to either side along with the mass of blue sky ahead and beyond.

It was delicious.

And then the sun broke through. I spontaneously turned my face towards this most welcome warmth, closed my eyes and relished the long exhale that accompanied the sensation. I may even have made an ‘aahh’ type noise!

The long exhale!

In that moment of unexpected January warmth, my spirit soared at the reminder that Spring is coming.

Whilst I can hardly believe that a life that has become so much simpler and slower can continue to disappear at such speed, it does of course feel at times that things will never change.

Yet here was nature itself reminding me that this is not true!

During winter, I often find it really hard to imagine what it feels like to be out in the warmth of spring or summer without numerous layers of protective clothing. Yet I know that I will experience that again.

Despite the damage that we are doing to our planet with its subsequent impact upon our weather, we still know that the Spring will follow the winter.

The signs of this happening this year are already here.

Only last week I was wondering when the daffodils would appear in the shops and then … de darn … there they were! I immediately snapped up the last few bunches for myself and a neighbour. And then someone else bought me a mixed colour bouquet of tulips. Just beautiful!

A colleague sent the most stunning picture of the first snowdrops they had seen. Wow!

I love these confirmations from nature; like little emails encouraging us not to despair, we’re working flat out behind the scenes to be with you before you know it!

I know that we know all this and we know all this happens year after year.

But how much more poignant is it this year?

Nature reminds us that whilst in the thick of winter with its signature short days and wet and wild weather, the preparations are under way for the longer, lighter days that accompany Spring.

Having passed the shortest day a month ago, the days are already lengthening.

Yay!

We know that better times where we can actually be with one another will return and just as those first rays of the sun are so much more welcome following its absence, how much more will we feel this way when reunited with our fellow humans?!

But, just because we know that the storm, season and situation will change, does not mean we need to delay our willingness to really live each day, until it does.

What a waste to postpone our ‘happiness’ until the arrival of a change we cannot cajole in to coming.

Each new day of this thing called life is a gift so fragile and fleeting we must seek its moments of wonder despite the suffering.

This morning dawned wet and wild, not that this stopped the wonderful chorus of chirping and cheeping outside my conservatory. Yet now, the sky is brilliant blue with the sun shining free from the cover of clouds.

Things can change in an instant; for better or worse.

Whilst we do not have to spend the whole of winter worrying that spring will never come, nor must we spend the remainder of lockdown worrying that freedoms will never return.

It will take time and there will be further cost and challenge, some known and others not.

And yet, if we can trust that the change will come, we free ourselves to embrace the now.

To look for those people, places, things, activities and connections that offer us … the long exhale..

The need to feed

‘I’m fed up’, must be the most popular saying of the moment! No great surprise there. But perhaps we need to take another look at becoming fed well in the face of feeling so fed up.

I say this because I love food, I love eating and I love to think of life in these terms!

I’ve often reflected of late that food is one of the few pleasures to escape the restrictive grasp of Covid.

We can still order takeout, buy food from the supermarkets, watch cookery programs and attempt new recipes.

Great, right?

And yet sometimes, as someone who doesn’t want to be eating too much take out, food preparation can become a repetitive drag. Before Christmas I was utterly over the whole thinking about what to eat, buying the food, prepping it followed by the relentless rounds of washing up that accompany making food from scratch. The monotony, the necessity, the never ending nature of it had become another pesky chore amidst the grind of daily lockdown living. All of which screamed, ‘I need a break’.

Post break, my creative drive to experiment with new recipes has returned with a vengeance. For this I am grateful. Yet I still don’t want to have to go through the ritual of food preparation every single day. Sometimes by the time I finish work I don’t have the desire or the drive to get creative in the kitchen. I’m on empty but lack the fuel to create good fuel! Other days I am immersed in creative projects which I don’t want to divert from to make a meal.

As I listen to others, I realise that many people feel this way. It is thus not unusual. But I do believe it is exacerbated by lockdown life. For me at least, back in the pre-Covid days, I would regularly catch up with friends over a meal in a restaurant. I love eating with friends. Despite also loving to make food for myself and others, I love it even more when someone else has cooked and cleaned up, whether at their house or in a restaurant! I savour the treat of being fed by another.

Back in the good old Covid free times I also used to book regular breaks where the food was prepared for me. I miss this luxury. Sigh.

And so at the moment, aside from the odd takeout, the cooking comes down to me. Mostly this is ok but every so often I lose my enthusiasm. If this builds, I end up wanting to shout, ‘I want someone else to feed me’!

Of course on a practical level it is entirely possible to batch cook thus giving myself the regular gift of a cooking free evening. But sometimes I just want someone else to feed me! Whilst I make a point of trying new recipes, I still have my old trusted favourites yet when I go to someone else for dinner or to a restaurant, my eyes may be opened and my stomach blessed by something entirely new to me. I love to benefit from others ideas converted in to culinary creations!

As I was pondering these matters this week, I happened to hear several messages on line offering support and encouragement for co-habiting with Covid. (Not necessarily literally)

These reminded me that whilst we must take responsibility for feeding ourselves nutritious foods for our bodies which then feeds the mind and heart, we must also take care to feed our spirit and souls.

It would seem that the message of the moment regarding our physical diet is that the Mediterranean emphasis on fruit, vegetables and good fats is in favour.

Could it be that the presence of Covid reminds us that the equivalent diet for our soul consists of plentiful portions of encouragement, support and kindness. Not a new concept but perhaps one worthy of a revisit.

Now I’m the first to admit that I like to bang on about this stuff. But how much more relevant is this to us all right now? These are challenging times to say the least. When facing such long term restrictions as now, our need to feed our souls with extra helpings of support, encouragement and kindness is greater than ever. And in order to share it with others we must first receive it ourselves.

I thoroughly enjoyed being fed by the various different messages that I have heard and digested in this past week. Others were doing the equivalent of feeding me their favourite soul foods whether opening up a scripture or offering some other form of insight to lift me up to keep facing the prolonged challenge of living in lockdown.

I much prefer feeling fed well over feeling fed up!

And this got me thinking about how easy it is when times are hard to overlook the increased need to feed our souls.

There is a lot of junk food about to feed on right now of which complaining and blaming are top of the menu whether found on social media or the news. I think it is necessary to stay abreast of the basic if ever changing information of what is going on, but if we consume too much of it, we risk becoming so full that we have no appetite for the uplifting.

There is nothing wrong with an honest admission of feeling utterly fed up, terrified, worried, disillusioned or whatever it is. Nothing wrong at all. But when we feel that way, we must recognise our need to be fed well rather than gorge on junk or consume more distressing news.

We must learn what and who feeds us well. This may be a trusted friend with whom you don’t have to feign positivity every time you open your mouth for fear that they can’t cope with anything else, it may be an online Church service (these offer banquets of such food even on line!), podcasts or other on line messages or even newspaper articles or films or whatever it is that leaves you well fed.

As I say I have been fed through my own Church as well as other encouraging on line messages, a book a friend sent me and even a newspaper article about the uplifting work of the artist Charlie Macksey. Like all good up lifters, his illustrations do not seek to gloss over the struggle or suffering but rather to highlight the truths of goodness to be found within them. I recommend his work.

Anyway, having received the gift of being fed by others, it has given me a kick up the backside to start something that has been on my heart since the first lockdown (but got lost in all things house move related), which is to start doing something similar to this but using the spoken word.

To start with at least, I will call these snack bites.

As I finally overcome my battle to reduce my intake of salty snacks of an evening, I am going to look at what is helpful to snack upon. And I’m not talking about the gut but that in such prolonged times of stress, the need for regular healthy snacks for the soul. I may share something I have seen or heard which contains some point or truth to chew upon and apply to lockdown living.

First I’ll have to wrestle with the technology required to do so but … watch this space.

The need to plan

Last year taught us not to plan! Or rather that the best laid plans can be totally scuppered by matters beyond our control.

But what I am beginning to realise is that it is unhelpful to throw out the baby with the bathwater.

After a restful break, I started this week accompanied by an abundance of enthusiasm for all things new including this year.

Despite hating the end of Christmas, I had managed to remove all signs of it prior to my return to work. Unless you count the endless amount of hoover avoiding pine needles!

Having also recommitted myself to morning quiet times and a snack reduction program for the evenings, I was ready to immerse myself in the new working week.

Bring it on, I thought.

I flew through Monday and Tuesday with great energy and enjoyment.

Yet on Wednesday I found myself descending in to a pit of despondency.

As someone who loves to spend time gazing out of the window especially now that I have a conservatory that I didn’t even realise I wanted, I really value these times of stillness and solitude.

However, there is a point beyond which such time ceases to be restful or inspiring instead becoming wasteful and energy sapping. I crossed that line by Wednesday lunch time.

What was going on?

I took a firm handle on myself, prised myself from the sofa, layered up and took myself out for an appointment with the great if rather chilly, outdoors.

As I walked, I reflected on the lack of differentiation between last year and this. The absence of celebration or party, the pointlessness of making long term plans for 2021, further exacerbated by the latest lockdown.

I realised that whilst it is indeed a folly to make plans involving anything beyond our control right now, it does not remove the need to have some kind of plans.

It was many years ago now that aided by one wiser than me, I discovered that I am a person who needs a plan. Without one I am prone to falling in to an abyss accompanied only by apathy and despondency.

I need a plan on which to structure myself and my time if not wishing to waste either.

As one who has many interests which are unaffected by the recent restrictions, I often need to relearn the importance of being proactive about planning times to do the things that nourish and uplift me. How easy I find it to avoid the effort required to do this. Not so forgoing the rewards.

I don’t need to plan every second as I need time to be spontaneous too. But if I have too much time, I cease to use it productively or enjoyably.

As I reflected upon this week, I realised that my creative juices were definitely replenished by my recent break. I have noticed this through my awakened appetite for new recipes or to follow new pathways out on my walks. I want newness, change, difference, things that inspire and enliven. And they are still possible albeit in a limited way.

I realised that unless I want to lose myself, my time and my newly refreshed creativity, by lapsing in to a listless lump, I must be more proactive than ever in planning how to utilise my work free time in ways that allow and sustain balance in creativity, nourishment, connectivity and physical activity.

All this sometimes feels like hard work especially in these challenging and restricted times of repetition. Yet I have learned over and over that it is a work that is rich in reward.

And so it is I am planning times to invest in the things I enjoy; more house decorating, reading those books whose invitations I keep ignoring, exploring and creating new recipes, going through old photography to choose those I wish to print and frame, connecting with others albeit aided by technology, watching new drama’s and films minus the non-stop snacking (in theory) and regularly getting outside no matter how cold.

If I can plan and more importantly implement these activities, I will continue to value and enjoy myself, my time, my friends and my life, in spite of all that remains beyond my control.

I suspect I may need to repeat this lesson throughout 2021!

The Year we didn’t see coming

2020: The year that no one saw coming.

I think it would be fair to say that 2020 is the year we didn’t see coming but we all want to see going.

At least we didn’t see it coming if we weren’t in China or didn’t have access to such classified information.

We just could not have anticipated what 2020 would bring. Personally I’m not sure I would have wanted to. Others may feel differently.

What we do appear to be pretty unanimous about is that we all want to see 2020 go.

But, whilst it has bought the biggest crisis the world has faced in a long time, the end of 2020 will not be the end of it.

There is real hope in the form of the new vaccines currently making their way in to the arms of our most vulnerable.

Yet there is still a way to go.

What makes all this especially hard for us humans is that there is so much uncertainty coupled with a lack of control and no clear end date. As a result we try to create control and certainty by splitting things in to black and white states. For example, it was a good or a bad year, or in the case of 2020, a terrible year.

We don’t tend to do well at the grey stuff in between that us and life are actually made up of.

Hence we like to imagine that if 2020 ends it will take all the bad stuff we experienced with it.

Equally, we are prone to losing sight of all that was good in a year very definitely overshadowed by that which was bad.

But even in a catastrophic year like this one, Covid is not the whole story. Nor do we need to allow it to obscure our view or memory of that which was worthy of celebration.

Just as we must continue to find ways to honour the lives that have been lost, we must equally honour those that have been born and those of us somewhere in between.

Covid with all its human separating tendencies has reminded us in the starkest way that all that matters is each other.

Families have learned to spend time together, to get out and walk or go for bike rides together.

We’ve started sending actual cards to each other again.

Churches have risen above their previous focus of denominational difference to literally make beautiful music together.

Church and communities have created numerous initiatives to respond to those in need.

The Scientific powers that be have managed to produce a vaccine in record time. Not, I believe because they have cut corners but because they have cut through the red tape that usually binds them from achieving such feats.

All in all, nothing is rarely ever all good or all bad.

2020 is no exception nor will 2021 be.

It is bad and sad that there has been much loss of actual life whether directly or indirectly as a result of Covid, as well as numerous more subtle losses. And all losses must be grieved.

But, if we have the courage to engage with the sorrow of our losses, we will find our capacity for appreciation of the gifts life continues to offer, to be enriched and enlarged.

Every crisis, trauma or loss has deep within it the chance to deepen the experience and enjoyment of life. We have to work much harder in challenging times to find those moments of magic but paradoxically it is our ability to engage with the depths of death, destruction and despair that can propel us in to ever increasing degrees of joy.

I was recently reminded of this via two of my favourite festive films; Scrooge and It’s a wonderful Life. Both explore the theme of death as a way to review the life led to that point. And both enable their protagonists to re-engage with their lives where they had previously been unable to move beyond their respective losses. After seeing their lives and deaths through the eyes of others, both were returned to these lives armed with a fresh revelation and gratitude for their own life as well as those around them.

Life is not all good or all bad.

Life brings things which we name good or bad.

2020 bought a bumper crop of that we call bad.

But this is still no reason to over look, diminish or write off that which was good.

We all want 2020 gone but whilst it will not take all things Covid with it, we must not allow it to take or tarnish the good either.

I continue to be inspired by the community spirit, the new willingness to use technology (especially by me!), the creativity, the collaboration, the deepening of relationships despite enforced separation and the ability to recognise the importance of doing life and all that it brings, together, even when that can’t happen physically.

We have been reminded this 2020 that whilst fragile and fleeting, life is still the most precious of gifts, both our own and each others.

Let us hold firmly to this truth as we watch 2020 go, that we may support one another as we enter 2021 with all the Covid and non Covid challenges and triumphs that it will present.

Covid tries to steal Christmas

What a week.

What a year.

Who isn’t absolutely sick of, if not with, Covid right now?

Even if we haven’t directly lost anyone to Covid, the ripple effects of loss are continuing for us all.

Last week, I was feeling super excited that I had almost got to the start of this much awaited break.

Then the news we had all expected arrived. In dribs and drabs the restrictions were increased and tightened until it basically felt like Christmas had been cancelled.

In addition I found out that two close friends and their partners had tested positive. Who hasn’t had it themselves or knows someone who has?

Suddenly the anticipation preceding my break turned in to a horrible flat, energy and excitement stealing low. And then the tears came. I just let them.

Whilst speaking to a friend the night before, she reminded me that I’m usually pretty good at allowing my sadness to come, feeling and acknowledging it and trusting it to pass. With this in mind I allowed it to do just that. And when it did my capacity for appreciation was restored and enlarged.

There are so many overt losses as a result of Covid from lives to livelihoods. This reality must not be diminished or belittled in any way.

But there are also numerous covert losses, most recently of the hopes and plans we had for Christmas. It cannot be what we wish or want it to be and it is totally natural to feel sad about that.

The more friends I speak and listen to, the more I realise just how many of us are experiencing these low waves of sadness and generally unwanted feelings followed by a renewed surge of gratitude for what we do have.

Whilst riding my bike through the picturesque local villages last Sunday, I was reminded that whilst it felt like Covid had stolen Christmas, in reality nothing can steal Christmas.

Christmas is about our capacity to care for, to show love to, to be there for even when we cannot be there with each other. And nothing can steal that.

Covid is forcing us to become ever more imaginative in how we continue to be there for one another as well as making us increasingly more dependent on technology to do so.

But we can and we must continue to be there with each other in spirit if not in body. We can continue to connect, to share, to laugh and cry with each other no matter what.

My hope on this most unnatural of Christmases, is that none of us would allow the presence of Covid to obstruct our view of what Christmas and life are actually about.

My prayer is that we may each continue to know and experience the love of God Almighty Himself today and beyond for it is His love that enables us to endure all things. And if you don’t believe in Him, may you know and remain connected to those around you, who love you.

No one and no thing can steal the true meaning of Christmas from any of us.

Sending out Christ filled love to all, especially those who are alone through circumstance rather than choice.