Tag: God

Where does my help come from?

Life brings challenges to each and every one of us.

Whilst it is not an original observation to make, it remains true that it is the trials that reveal who is really there for us in our time of need.

We all need help and support at times just as we all need to offer help and support.  Sometimes we are the one offering support, other times we are the one in need of support and sometimes we are offering and receiving!

In recent challenges within my own life, there are key people (you know who you are, near and far!) who have warned me of potential risks up ahead, supported me when such risks were realised and helped me not only to extricate myself from said risks but who also remained on hand to pick up the pieces of my broken heart and love me through the process of healing.

I shall remain forever grateful for the wonderful gift from God of all those who have helped and who continue to help me when I am in need.

Whilst life brings problems that I cannot predict or prevent, these were problems I could have predicted and prevented. 

The bottom line is that I made a bad call, in spite of the advice of loved ones. I did not want to heed their warnings much less respond appropriately, because I did not want them to be true. 

I take responsibility for my poor choice, for the subsequent damage caused, the time needed to heal and the painful but ultimately powerful sense of liberation that I have gained.

If only I could learn without causing myself such pain. 

As with every painful lesson before, I have been reminded of where my help comes from, as well as where it does not.

It has been true before and remains true today that my help has always come from the Lord, in a myriad of ways and through a multitude of people.

And whilst it has been one hell of a battle to create the time, space and energy to write, it is this provision of help revealed through every trial that my first book will be about.

Whilst I believe that help from above is available for every human in every trial, I feel incredibly fortunate that this is my actual ongoing lived experience.

From striving to surrender

One of the major challenges of being someone who is passionate about so many different things is how to focus and distribute my energy wisely.

There are so many different things I want and love to do.

Yet I only have a certain amount of hours per day as well as energy per hour. And I’ve been attempting to squeeze too much out of myself to invest in all of my passions at once.

The result of which has been that I’ve ended up running around at a ridiculous speed without really making serious progress on anything or even enjoying the process.

What folly!

Of course this is standard modern day living. But I don’t want to ‘live’ at such an exhausting, unsustainable, frantic and counterproductive pace.

It was becoming particularly pronounced over these past few weeks where it was seriously beginning to wear me down.

A quote I once read kept appearing in my mind.

‘God does not assign us an overload’ – by I can’t remember who.

Hmm.

So why was I assigning me an overload?

Similarly, I kept thinking about the scripture in the message version of Matthew 11:28-30.

“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion?  Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.  I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly”.

I love this, especially ‘the unforced rhythms of grace and learn to live freely and lightly!’

Yes please!

And every so often I get in the place where I experience these things and I think yes!! I’m in the God led sweet spot and what could be sweeter. But before I know it, I’ve veered off God’s course again and on to my own. Striving, forcing, rushing and stressing replace surrender, trust and being in the flow.

Sigh!

So having been partially aware of this for some time now, I decided to examine the situation more closely.

As I waded through my confusion about what projects to focus on, I discovered that actually, God gave me a very clear remit back at the start of the year. On reflection, every time I had worked on something in line with that, there was that flow. The ideas and inspiration appeared as and when I needed them. Sure, I had to do my part and apply myself but things flowed.

Yet every time I raced off down my own path on to something else, there was the exhaustion and frustration of striving and tail chasing.

Time to revise the game plan.

Again.

As in, back to what I should have been doing in the first place.

Having parked that for which it is not time and refocused my energy on where it should be, my sense of order has been restored, a sense of movement re-instated and my previously AWOL peace, joy and enthusiasm, are back in town!

Yay!

Now to try and keep them there!

Because, no matter how hard I work to recover more space in my day, life and home, when I’m investing in things that are not in season, my efforts become a source of frustration rather than fruit.

How grateful I am that God is so patient with me!