One of the major challenges of being someone who is passionate about so many different things is how to focus and distribute my energy wisely.
There are so many different things I want and love to do.
Yet I only have a certain amount of hours per day as well as energy per hour. And I’ve been attempting to squeeze too much out of myself to invest in all of my passions at once.
The result of which has been that I’ve ended up running around at a ridiculous speed without really making serious progress on anything or even enjoying the process.
What folly!
Of course this is standard modern day living. But I don’t want to ‘live’ at such an exhausting, unsustainable, frantic and counterproductive pace.
It was becoming particularly pronounced over these past few weeks where it was seriously beginning to wear me down.
A quote I once read kept appearing in my mind.
‘God does not assign us an overload’ – by I can’t remember who.
Hmm.
So why was I assigning me an overload?
Similarly, I kept thinking about the scripture in the message version of Matthew 11:28-30.
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me – watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly”.
I love this, especially ‘the unforced rhythms of grace and learn to live freely and lightly!’
Yes please!
And every so often I get in the place where I experience these things and I think yes!! I’m in the God led sweet spot and what could be sweeter. But before I know it, I’ve veered off God’s course again and on to my own. Striving, forcing, rushing and stressing replace surrender, trust and being in the flow.
Sigh!
So having been partially aware of this for some time now, I decided to examine the situation more closely.
As I waded through my confusion about what projects to focus on, I discovered that actually, God gave me a very clear remit back at the start of the year. On reflection, every time I had worked on something in line with that, there was that flow. The ideas and inspiration appeared as and when I needed them. Sure, I had to do my part and apply myself but things flowed.
Yet every time I raced off down my own path on to something else, there was the exhaustion and frustration of striving and tail chasing.
Time to revise the game plan.
Again.
As in, back to what I should have been doing in the first place.
Having parked that for which it is not time and refocused my energy on where it should be, my sense of order has been restored, a sense of movement re-instated and my previously AWOL peace, joy and enthusiasm, are back in town!
Yay!
Now to try and keep them there!
Because, no matter how hard I work to recover more space in my day, life and home, when I’m investing in things that are not in season, my efforts become a source of frustration rather than fruit.
How grateful I am that God is so patient with me!