The wisdom of the heart

Sometimes life becomes lack lustre.

It is true that we all experience differing seasons.  Some more welcome than others!

But sometimes, it is as if the life blood has been drained from us. 

This may be marked by prolonged difficulty with sleeping, lethargy, fatigue, lack of motivation, low mood, indulging in destructive behaviours and even physical ailments.

Often at this point, medication may be sought to get shot of these pesky and unwanted emotions.

And there is of course a time for medication.

However, all too often, upon careful exploration and investigation, another matter becomes apparent.

That is that the individual experiencing these symptoms is in some type of situation; relationship/employment/group that at best is unhealthy for them. This may even have been going on unnoticed and unchallenged for many years, thus leaving them in the above state.

Whilst the progress of medication is vital, if used to suppress the very emotions that are indicating an issue that needs addressing, all they really achieve is enabling the individual to continue in the very situation that is causing the distress in the first instance.

Unfortunately, what compounds this aside from our obsession with the quick fix, is that we are a culture that puts our trust in the mind and its capacity to think, well above our heart and its capacity to feel. 

But, when the heart is repeatedly left untended it can and does impact every area of life.  The upshot of which can be the type of symptoms I have described above.

As I reflected on this predicament of humanity, I noticed just how difficult it can be for us humans to trust, let alone act upon what our hearts tell us.

As mentioned, our culture dismisses the realm of emotions as if these are just some ridiculous part of ourselves that will simply disappear if we ignore them for long enough.

And so we have developed a personal and collective suspicion over all matters of the heart.  We think that it is to be distrusted, silenced and overruled by the mind.

Of course, it is important to point out that we would indeed be foolish to attempt to live by feelings alone. 

However, we appear to have thrown out the baby with the bath water. 

In doing so we have lost the art of listening to, respecting, discerning and acting upon the wisdom of the heart.

On some level we always know in our hearts what we like and what we don’t. 

Yet, despite this inside information, we often commit ourselves to situations; relationships/employment/whatever that we know in our hearts are wrong for us. 

This does not necessarily mean that there is anything wrong with the person/job/whatever.  They may be phenomenally brilliant. Or not.  But if they are not right for us personally we will know this by the sinking of our heart. 

But sometimes we find it really difficult to admit or acknowledge let alone act on the truth that our heart is revealing. 

At this point, our mind with all its ‘clever’ thoughts may also step in to remind and re-iterate the mantra of our culture; just keep going no matter what the cost and you don’t need to be bothered by the silly business of feelings.

This could be further exacerbated by the chants of the ‘should brigade’.  ‘You should be ok with this, you should try harder, you should be grateful, blah blah blah …. ‘.

And this is how we become stuck in something that is not good for us.

Despite our attempts to quieten the warnings of the heart by distracting ourselves with all manner of doing, it will often awaken us in the dead of the night.  Here, free from distractions, it brings to mind the situation that is not good for us but that we are attempting to ignore.

If we still dismiss the warnings of the heart, over time, we may become more and more unwell, mentally and physically.  A case of the writing is on the body.

And yet still we may endure our situations.

We may struggle to reconcile the discrepancy between what we wish for with the lived experience of the situation.

We just want it to be different and it may be too painful to see that it is not and cannot be.

Fear and doubt may crowd in on us to stifle, shut down and silence these deepest longings of our heart.  They may whisper to us that we will not be able to have that which we most authentically long for.  And that we must make do with that which is making us unwell.

Sometimes, it is even a misunderstanding or misinterpretation of scripture that keeps folk bound in situations that are harmful for them.

Whatever the reason, when the wisdom of the heart is ignored repeatedly, we get stuck doing the same thing that is getting us the same result.

To choose, whether actively or passively, to stay in any situation that is harmful to us, is a form of self harm.

Somehow this seems to be in keeping with the culture of stiff upper lipping it out and being ‘strong’. 

As if it is a sign of superiority to ignore the body’s own warning system that there is a problem that needs tending to.

Or as if it is super spiritual to suffer unnecessarily.

How much of our lives do we end up wasting in situations that do not fit us let alone allow us to grow or thrive?  And how often do these situations actually cause us to become diminished in some way?

Maybe through fear of what others would think if we left the situation or fear about where we think we should be especially at certain ages and stages of life.

And yet, if we can face in to our own truths, to the deepest desires of our heart and pursue these with integrity, commitment and support, we can discover and create a life that we actually want to live. 

At which point, we can expect to see the return of our energy, motivation and drive, improved sleep and health, renewed enthusiasm and the recovery of our get up and go.

The heart knows.

We would do well to pay attention to it.

Life is way too short and far too fragile to commit any serious amount of it to anything that destroys its quality.