Making decisions

Life presents us with an ongoing series of situations that require us to make decisions.

At times this can feel super scary and uncomfortably grown up.

Just to clarify, I’m still working on what the term grown up actually means!  All the humans I’ve ever met or known were an interesting and varied mix of grown up and infantile characteristics!

Including me!

But life is a constantly evolving collage of all the decisions that we have ever made along with all those that lay ahead.

Some decisions are small with minimum impact. 

For example, I am someone who considers the whole of December to be Christmas month (not that we have to wait until December to remember what life is really about). But as December approached I needed to decide what type of Christmas tree to buy.  I always buy real as I’m no fan of fakery but what size and base type?  After checking out the options, I decided I didn’t want a tacky looking pot when I could have what I considered to be the preferable rustic look offered by the base that has been carved in to a beautiful flat log sphere. 

Having decided the type of tree base I wanted, I headed to the local provider.  After much deliberation I chose my tree and the guy serving put it through the net machine.  Here, the lady next to me told me that they would be putting their tree to soak in a pot over night.  Oh, I thought.  How will I water mine?  The answer to which was that I would also need to get a special plant pot to stand the tree in to allow it to quench its thirst.  This also meant having the bottom part that I was particularly drawn to, chopped off!!

Not my best decision but the consequence was marginal!  And next year I will remember why I don’t want a tree with a base that looks great!  Perhaps I could get away with it if I was one who put my tree up on Christmas Eve but going for gold from the first just isn’t going to work!

However, other decisions are scarily big complete with major consequences.

As I was currently pondering a major life decision, I got stuck on the whole saying no to this means saying yes to the unknown.

Because quite often, we must let go of the thing that we know without knowing what will come next.  This introduces a thing called risk for we must take the step without any guarantee of what is to come.   And that can feel pretty uncomfortable.

As I pondered, reflected, deliberated and repeatedly prayed my top most used prayer, ‘HELP ME God!’, I began to see a little more clearly.

I also noticed the following Paulo Coelho quote, ‘everything we need to learn is always there before us; we just have to look around us with respect and attention in order to discover where God is leading us and which step we should take next.’

I heartily agree as I believe that God is constantly speaking to us through our daily surroundings in order to guide and help us.  I just know that personally I’m probably not paying attention most of the time as I’m too distracted and consumed by other things.

But in the face of a blindingly obvious need for God’s assistance, I began to pay a tad more attention than usual!

And I began to see a way forward. 

Not much of it. 

But enough to know what my first step should be.  In other words I knew what I would be taking one step away from, if not where said step would be taking me towards.

As I deliberated before biting the bullet of taking this first irreversible step, I read about how the priests led by Joshua had to step out in to the Jordan River before it stopped flowing.  This was a river that was at flood point at that stage.  Yet when the priests touched the river with their feet, it instantly stopped flowing. As I considered this, I was reminded that you have to take the step before you see what will happen.

Encouraged by this, I was able to take that first step.

And so it is that the great unknown beckons again.

I still have moments of wondering if I have lost the plot but mostly I feel really rather excited!

As I reflect upon the previous fifteen years I realise that I left my position amongst the play-it-safers back when I first gave up a ‘secure’ job to rent my house and explore the world.

Following my return, accompanied by a vibrant, life giving faith, I took ten years out to retrain which also happened to involve eight house moves.  

So I have learned a little about change, risk taking and decision making!  As well as how to trust the God who sees what I don’t.

So here I am again, relinquishing the play it safe approach for the put my faith in to action approach.

There are no guarantees.

There is risk.

There are consequences.

But I am game!

And after all that serious, grown up decision making, it was time for me to relax at my first Christmas Doo of the season.  Plenty of feasting and dancing followed.

Decision making is not always an easy thing.

But to do nothing when there is a need to do something, can at times be the biggest risk we can take.