Endings are everywhere

Endings are inevitable, managing our response to endings, is learnable

This week has been full of endings for many around me. Even last night while being served at my favourite cheap arse supermarket, I found myself engaged in a conversation about endings. The lovely lady serving me was clearly thrilled that she only had a few shifts to go before ending her employment there.

She described having a moment where it hit her that she didn’t have to stay there – she had a choice. And when she told me that she had resigned, her eyes shone with excitement at what she had chosen. Apparently, she had an almost brand spanking new grandchild as part of her family. We didn’t delve into her circumstances but I’m guessing she’d rather be with those she loves than with those of us who favour late night crowd avoiding shopping! Who could blame her?!

I was impressed that she had the courage of her convictions. She chose to act upon the freedom that was clearly calling her, without delay. Perhaps this is where some of us go wrong. We hesitate enough to get stuck in over thinking mode. This lady had the revelation, took action to make it a reality and positively glowed at what she was creating. Hats off to her I say.

All too often, we can all be guilty of claiming we don’t have the choice to do things we want to. It’s almost as if we believe life must be super hard otherwise we’re cheating in some way! Culture has a lot to answer for! But remains within our power to recognise and update.

This week I have another friend who had also resigned from her job. With new little grandchildren in the family, her priorities had changed.

Another friend had their employment ended via redundancy. They were wrestling with whether they could allow themselves to enjoy this once in thirty years opportunity for a work free summer. Or whether they had to give in to the powerful pull to immediately tie themselves down to another job. Having had the foresight to plan well many years prior, the choice to take time out was real. Yet it still posed a challenge to grant herself permission to accept it.

I was reminded of a quote I read once that said something about how the universe often gives us a gift but instead of accepting and enjoying it, we look for ways to give it back. Crazy but can be true.

Yet another friend was in a dilemma over whether to reduce time in a loved job in favour of increased time with their loved little people.

Life is everchanging.

Endings are inevitable, some of our own making and others not. Yet we can choose how we respond to and manage the emotions that these endings evoke whether chosen or otherwise.

Even the endings we plan or long for can be hard. And they can bring up feelings about previous endings too. But in time, any transition leads to a new beginning. The trick is to be extra kind, patient and gentle with ourselves in the face of endings, change and all the emotions these stir up. Like everything else in life, feelings come and feelings go. We just need to learn how to experience and manage these without numbing out or cutting off from our own hearts and all that they hold. For it is these that give us our sense of aliveness, whether through pain or pleasure.

Life does not stand still. We choose, actively or passively whether we move with it or resist it. It certainly keeps things interesting albeit sometimes in ways we like and sometimes not.

On my way to greet a client, I noticed the remains of a rodent who had obviously come to an abrupt ending at the claws and teeth of my feline. None of us know when we will come to our own ending. So it can be wise where possible to choose what we want to end, continue or change.