A life stealing lie of our times

The lie – life is supposed to be shit

‘This is the worst sort of ‘believe it/become it’ brand of bullshit going if we allow it to reign and rule unrecognised throughout a lifetime.’

The facts are that life brings shit to us all but our ability to recognise its fertilising qualities will determine our ongoing health, growth and enjoyment of it all.

I believe the promise of the Almighty is that life is supposed to be a full and enlivening affair from start to finish despite the ups, downs and inevitable stress that every human encounters enroute.

Sometimes it is the pain of heart ache or break that shows us we are still alive. The alternative which may happen so subtly as to go undetected, is to numb out, cut off from or distract from our pain. If we shut down the heart in this way (or any other way), our sense of aliveness diminishes. The heart is not only for beating to stay physically alive, but also for staying soft enough to remain psychologically alive.

We all like feeling happy but if we don’t learn to manage all the other feelings in a healthy way, we disconnect from our own hearts. As our aliveness deteriorates, our cynicism, sarcasm, jadedness and destructiveness may rise.

Life is NOT supposed to be shit.

However, for this to remain a reality, we need to be an active participant in making it so. Nobody’s grass will be greenest if it gets too much or too little rain or sun, isn’t mowed, weeded, protected from ants or other threats.

In the world beyond the Jones, there is no competition in this, for one unique life is not comparable to another. But each of us are responsible for recognising and responding appropriately to what / who and where, enhances or undermines our health and growth.

If we want a fulfilling life, we need to do the work of building one followed by the work of increasing what supports us while reducing what does not.

As we age, our physical body’s deteriorate. Some work harder than others to utilise all the tweakments available to prevent this process. With varying results. But aging happens to us all regardless.

However, every other part of us; mental and emotional (soul) and spirit are invited to stay healthy enough to keep growing throughout a lifetime. And those who maintain their appetite for growth with vision, purpose and meaning, often, but not always, live long lives. (There are always exceptions where beautiful humans get taken young and I don’t pretend to understand this. At all).

When we use every part of ourselves to fulfil us AND to offer something of value to the world beyond our own, we create the conditions that are within our control, for keeping ourselves healthy, alive and growing.

This fact is well illustrated through the like and lives of Sir David Attenborough, John D Rockefeller, Stephen Hawking as well as countless others whether nonagenarian or defying a disease. These were or are men with a mission, contribution and heart for the world. They each made or are making valuable contributions for the greater good. In doing so they defy the seven score years rule or the prognosis of their conditions.

And some even continue to contribute from way beyond the grave. A recently recognised example is the literary contributions of Roald Dahl – thank God that his readers are challenging attempts to change Dahl’s original text.

John D Rockfeller had a particularly transformative experience that changed him radically. He was forced by ill health to change his trajectory from being a man on a mission to be minted, to being a minted man on a mission to share what he had with those who had not.

And this doesn’t only apply to the male of the species! The Queen is probably the most well-known example of such a woman. Whether you like the Royal family or not there is no denying her commitment to her purpose or the longevity of her life. While privilege would have played a part, privilege alone can’t keep people alive. There are many miserable millionaires out there.

Every human is dealt a set of cards for life; some that help and some that hinder. The only part we get to choose is; will we play them and if so, how?

Fear can make great excuse makers of us all. Blaming others for our misfortunes is a great way to block our own progress. Taking responsibility for the good, bad and all in between of ourselves and our lives, is the only way to work towards creating a life we want to live. And that doesn’t happen in isolation of others.

And, when we do want to live our lives, we do everything differently. We put our hearts into our actions and our resources in to giving to the world outside ours.

We each have strengths, weaknesses, talents and challenges, all of which make us whole. And when we bring our whole selves, we offer the unique contribution of our gift, to a world of many needs. Those that will benefit from our gift, are often guided to us. This is the ultimate win/win way of life for those with the belief to build it.

This isn’t some woo woo shit I like the sound of, I have heard numerous stories that testify to the truth of it. It is the worst moments of our lived experience that can transform us – John D Rockfella is only one example of this. At the point we imagine our life to be over, it may well be in the way we knew it. But, bleakness is often the birthplace for a whole new life.

Whether you believe in the universe, Mother Earth or anything else, I believe that God Almighty offers us repeated chances to learn and grow through the worst of ourselves, each other and our lives.

Life deals shitty hands to us all throughout our lifetimes. But the shittier the cards the greater the potential for growth, within them. If we can maintain a healthy enough outlook to face up to, talk about, seek support and work through these, we will continue to grow and to learn. And ultimately to stay alive on more than a physical level.

That which we resent and resist the most, offers the greatest chance to enrich, expand, improve and enliven ourselves and our offerings. If, we accept and work with all that life throws at us. Eventually anyway, once we’ve got over as many meltdowns and tantrums we need to move from the worst to the best!

Or alternatively, we can choose to sit and stagnate in the sinking and stinking sand of blame, fear and excuses. And if this is due to never learning there is another way, now is the time to start doing something different to move towards having something different.

The choice is entirely ours.

If you don’t know how to get started with any of that, there is a God who loves to help with all that kind of jazz! Don’t take my word for it, ask him yourself!

Life is not supposed to be shit.

We are supposed to recognise the shit for what is; a regular precursor to another growth spurt that can deliver you to a better life than the one before. Or at the very least, an increased confidence in managing our stress response without losing our shit or our ability to notice the moments of magic amid every stinking pile of you know what!

The roses do come, but not before the shit.