To get myself over the start line of this BLOG, I decided to write about a subject that I’m passionate about; self care. In recognition of the fact that those of us with a propensity towards caring for others can all too often overlook caring for ourselves, I decided that this would make a worthy starting point.
After spending an hour attempting to write something profound about my work, I was frustrated to arrive at a big fat nothing. When I stopped to think, I could hear a good friend’s voice saying, ‘write about YOU Jo’.
So I started by asking myself how I was doing in relation to self-care. My authentic answer was ‘not too great’. The reason being that I am a self-confessed total introvert. By which I don’t mean that I’m incapable of socialising with other humans, but rather, that I also need time alone. Lots of it. It allows me to process, regenerate, recharge and simply be.
Failure to allow adequate portions of solo space results in the emergence of the type of short tempered, grumpy beast that even I don’t particularly like to be around. (Think Joan Collins in the Snickers Ad).
Knowing this about myself, I usually ensure my weekends have sufficient unscheduled space and time alone, whether that results in me doing something spontaneous, absolutely nothing, or even a bit of both.
However, last weekend I had a whole pile of really fabulous stuff happening ALL weekend. To clarify, I’m not referring to a weekend that I had filled by saying ‘yes’ to stuff I really wanted to say ‘no’ to. (Life is way too short for that). This was a weekend overflowing with stuff I’d said ‘yes’ to that I really wanted to say ‘yes’ to! It just happened to fill the entire weekend.
Now, I’d been apprehensive about this in advance, yet I had failed to put anything in place to address it. How easy it is to see a potential issue approaching on the horizon and to just dismiss it with ‘oh, it will be ok’.
Wrong!
To be clear, I don’t regret anything I did over the weekend as it involved ample doses of food, laughter, learning and worship. What’s not to like? I even continued to feed off the buzz of it, throughout Monday.
Yet by Monday evening, the aforementioned grumpy beast was making its presence felt. Hence on Tuesday when I sat down to write about self-care, I realised that I could not write about something that I was not practising at that time!
I thought, ok, I get it, I need solo time. I decided immediately that as I don’t practice on a Wednesday, I would have an entirely work free day to give myself the solo space that I so desperately needed.
Of course, I heard all the reasons why I ‘shouldn’t’. It was mid-week, as in ‘work time’ so I ‘should’ be working, I had things that ‘needed’ to be done, I’d be letting down the person I would need to cancel (who I know, knows me well enough to not take it personally), blah blah blah.
But, I made a decision on behalf of myself that if I didn’t take time out to look after me, I wouldn’t just remain beastly, but the quality of my work would suffer too.
Having given myself permission to do what I needed to take good care of myself, I felt instantly lighter. And excited about my FREE day!
When Wednesday morning arrived, I relished the luxury of awaking when my body was ready as opposed to when the alarm demanded. A rare treat indeed given that my body usually awakes way before the alarm these days anyway. Is this just a post 40 female thing?
Anyway, upon registering my re-entry to consciousness, the cat promptly gave me his, ‘please get up and feed me NOW’ nudge.
Whilst doing so, I grabbed the milk from the fridge and switched the coffee machine on (how do people ever get up without these?). The large bag of apples that a friend had given me from her tree were sat inside the fridge screaming ‘USE US’ or ‘LOSE US’.
So, as I’m going through an ‘I don’t want to eat muesli for breakfast every day’ phase, I went online to explore my apple filled options. I discovered a recipe that inspired me to instantly get my baking gear out. It was called Glorious Apple Muffins. I was sold. Once made, I took one, still warm, along with a cup of tea, back to bed. (The coffee was long gone).
As I revelled in the delight of my home baked breakfast, eaten whilst lounging in bed at what was by this time 10am, I could literallly feel my self-care tank refilling. Wonderful!
Having given myself the gift of free time, I became aware that the motivation and inclination that had previously eluded me were now very much present and willing to help me tackle my wardrobe.
I took full advantage by swiftly setting about the removal of all clothes spring/summer followed by the retrieval of all autumn/winter clothes. And this a job I’ve been avoiding ever since it’s been cold enough to relearn how to work the heating! I even managed to be brutal enough to fill three bags worth of clothes for the charity shop. Out with the old, room for the new! I was on a roll!
Feeling decidedly chuffed with my efforts, I drove to Letchworth to spend some birthday money on new toys for the kitchen. A slow cooker being one, in case you were wondering. I am SO in to creating in the kitchen right now.
After this, I took myself for an afternoon showing of Victoria and Abdul. It always feels delightfully decadent to watch a film during the afternoon on a ‘work day’. And whilst I didn’t enjoy the film as much as I had hoped, Dame Judy Dench didn’t disappoint.
Anyway, I finished my day with homemade soup; spiced carrot and red lentil, from the freezer thus giving me the night off cooking. And then my new but beloved Pilates class.
Lastly, I attended a life group, which involved a short DVD followed by interesting and thought-provoking discussions, prayer, tea and biscuits (the chocolate variety, not rich tea’s).
A totally top-notch day spent indulging in activities that I find utterly revitalising. Which meant, when I sat down to write today (Thursday), I was ready and willing to do so.
The beast has, for now at least, been satisfied. And I’ve made a note to myself to go through my diary and ensure I keep sufficient solo space for the foreseeable future, so that it stays that way.
What do you need to do, to take care of you?