Tag: Transitions

Autumn’s Invitation

Autumn’s Invitation

We are surrounded by the stunning colours of leaves changing from living, branch-dancing beauty’s in to dying, drifting to the ground, grass-decorators. This is how the world around us reminds of the natural seasons and cycles that we all transition through.

Autumn invites us to embrace the process of transitioning between seasons. We only need to look around us to see how spectacularly beautiful change can be. Autum invites us to withdraw from the world a little, to replenish our resources. It also asks us to let go of both physical and psychological items and patterns that need releasing/updating. And, we can practice granting ourselves a period of rest and regeneration that must precede any new season of rebirth and renewal.

I keep hearing how people are sorting through and getting shot of old unneeded, dust gatherers, from garages/cupboards/wardrobes. I’m feeling very smug myself after clearing five bags from my own wardrobe. I no longer have a meltdown every time I open the wardrobe door – winning. (Not sure for how long).

These physical sort outs clear physical and psychological space. If we wish to welcome all things new, externally and internally, we must be willing to get shot of the old. This is how we create the necessary space for the new to arise/appear. We can further aid this by consciously stopping to consider what outdated relational patterns we need to shed.

Clue; if we keep getting involved with the same type of characters in an unhelpful way, we need to recognise the invitation to stop to investigate the internal issue behind it. Finding the right counsellor can be key to this. Every time I start a new season of therapy, I think to myself,

‘Wow, counselling is amazing! A space like no other to see what may otherwise go unnoticed, to our detriment. With the right fit and type, counselling can be hugely healing and life enhancing by supporting us to increase what we love and decrease what we don’t, by activating the power to choose.’

And yes, I am bias!

But all the same, we are all a work in progress. We can all benefit from humbling ourselves to ask for help to recognise old, unhelpful, relational patterns so we can grow and heal beyond them. As we shed our old relational imprints and patterns, we release ourselves to step in to new, healthier dynamics.

During a conversation with a woman this morning, we spoke of how reaching the age of fifty, fuels us to say ‘no’, to more of the same old, unsatisfactory relationships (amongst other things). As women, we are programmed to be relentless givers/nice(ripe for exploitation from the takers)/put others first-ers. Fifty appears to be the age when there’s no energy left in the tank to continue this life-sapping approach. Thank God. Thank you, God! Permission granted to say ‘no’ to any bs crossing the line of fifty with us.

Over lunch last Sunday, a fellow super-strong, over-giver remarked that we need to, ‘toughen up’, before instantly correcting herself, with, ‘no, that’s not right’. To which I interjected, ‘no, it’s about wising up’.

Autumn offers the annual invitation to be mindful about what we allow in to any new season with us.

Perimenopause is a massively heightened, exaggerated version of Autumn; identify what/who/where is not coming with you, because it has revealed itself to be part of your past, that needs to be left in the past. This is probably the most valuable investment of time and energy any of us can make as we transition in to new seasons.

And, as the leaves show us, it is a process. As in, it doesn’t happen overnight. We can go through this slowly, mindfully and most powerfully of all, prayerfully.

If you’re not sure what you need to let go of in this season of shedding the old, ask the Lord God Almighty, because he see’s and knows everything. And he will help us to see what is not healthy for us, when we are ready to act upon this, in our own favour. God knows that we often hold on to the familiar for far too long for fear of change, or belief in the lie that,

‘it’s always better the devil you know’.

God often attempts to get us to release our grip of anything unhealthy because he has the healthiest plans for us. If you need encouragement in this, watch the leaves fall away from the branches. You won’t see them clinging on for dear life or hear them wail, ‘but what if the new season never comes …’.

If you need help with any of this (or anything else), feel free to pop a prayer request in the box in the fabulous Bites & Breezes. You can treat yourself to a hot drink or scoff and be blessed by Ozzy and his team.

Or just ask God for whatever you need, yourself. He LOVES it, when us, his children, go to him for help! True story!

The keeping of cool

How easy it is to look back after a trying time and wish that we had known back then what we know now, ie how the trial will end. If we had, we may not have lost our sleep/peace/mind/cool/sh*t or anything else that comes in handy during a trial. Typically, we only really relax when we know how things work out.

As humans, we are generally a bit crap at not knowing. This could be not knowing how things will work out, not knowing what to do or say or not knowing anything else that we want to know.

Just this week, a friend remarked how they know from experience that things usually work out. However, last week while going through some challenges, they got stressed because they forgot that things have a way of working themselves out. I could totally relate! How easy it is to wonder what we were getting in a state for, after we know how things work out. At least when they work out how we want or in a manageable way.

It is of course a different story when things don’t work out how we want or do work out how we really don’t want.

The following statement jumped out at me this week,

‘Fate leads us on a winding path and despite how bad a situation may appear, we can never really know how it will turn out. I’ll try to remember that, then maybe I won’t get so upset when things don’t go my way’.

This is from The cat who taught zen, by James Norbury.

The fact is that sometimes things go our way and sometimes they don’t. And when they don’t, we may learn things we don’t learn when they do. These may be things we wish we didn’t have to learn and yet we do learn and we do come through. Or we don’t learn and the lesson comes around again (and again). One way or another (short or long), we continue to come through. Until we don’t because we will all die in the end. Keeping our heads up our derrieres about this doesn’t make it any less true, it simply stops us seeing, savouring and actively choosing how to play whatever cards we continue to be dealt.

Life is a series of beginnings, endings and middles. In the middle we know only what has been before and not yet what is to come. How we navigate the not knowing that precedes the new knowing will determine how enjoyable or otherwise, these middle times of transition will be.

Like all other muscles, the only way any of us can develop and strengthen our ‘keeping our cool’ muscle is by being in situations that challenge our cool keeping capacity.

Practice doesn’t make us perfect but it can make us calmer during the trial. Allegedly!